Alright, itchy tag on the inside of my shirt, its either you or me today, and I am not prepared to walk around my office shirtless because of your inability to relax.
I have to say I am a bit disappointed in you. I’ve already gone after your lengthy fibers with scissors and shortened you to a manageable length, but even after your new due, your pestering is still incessant.
Why is it that you exist anyways? Is one tag not suitable enough for one shirt? Tags are made to display very few things, and all of them can fit on one tag:
- The size: further reminding me that bikini season is right around the corner
- the genetic fiber make up of my shirt: so that when my shirts no longer fit, I can explain it away with: “don’t worry, self, the shirt is 94% cotton…she shrunk”
- washing instructions: so that if I ever were to want to properly wash my clothes one day, I could.
- "Made in China:” this is here to remind us that everything we own is exported, very important.
- The “inspected by #456” sticker: so I know exactly who to blame when I find that my shirt is faulty. Thanks a lot, #456!
All of this very important information can be found on the primary tag of the shirt. There is no additional need for another tag, if only to serve as a nagging itch for me.
Further, who was it that decided that the best place to put a tag is on the side seem above my hip bone. Everyone is ticklish and/or sensitive there, and it is faulty product quality to implant a stiff side tag into an otherwise “relaxed cotton tee” (and yes, the shirt is actually called that!)
I feel anything but relaxed thanks, in part, to you. Lets try to get along for a majority of the day…otherwise I have no problem cutting a whole in the seem of my shirt to remove you completely, as my tee is only used for layering.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, itchy tag.
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