Just "Pee" Yourself!

Why is it that I find it necessary to “hold it” until I can no longer stand it. Going to the bathroom is never a leisure stroll down the hall, it is almost always a dire emergency due to my holding it for too long.

There are 3 “need to go” stages/levels.

1. your typical “gotta go” feeling. No description necessary. Everyone gets it. I usually am aware I need to go by this stage, but am preoccupied…often times I say to myself: “Self, you can go to the bathroom once you finish [insert work/home/blog task here.]” A weird, yet classic psychological negative reinforcement situation…do something good, take away something that is painful or uncomfortable. Yes, I know I am odd.
2. the low hip, tingling sensation. Here enter the leg crossing, avoidance of laughter, and the “don’t think about flowing water” mentality. Usually I go here, because I have finally realized that the sensation is not going to go away on its own.
3. the low hip, pressure and pain. This is the mother of all need to pee symptoms. I rarely experience this sensation, but when I do I am always in a car. Never mind talking or communicating, because I am far too preoccupied with the pain that comes with moving and breathing. Then, there is an opportunity to go and getting out of the car and walking to the bathroom is a borderline out of body experience. See me. See me hunched over. See me hunched over, attempting to walk, with hundreds of sharp, pressurized pains that seemingly start and end in my bladder…its like finishing a marathon, seeing the finish line, and not caring about what you look like finishing it.

My conflict with peeing began with family road trips circa 1990 (that would be all road trips, post potty training.) The 4 hour drives to Burlington, VT ultimately became a game of chicken between my father who refused to pull over for

Years later, my mother figured out the solution that solved our roadtrip saga…dehydrate the kids, particularly me, beginning 12 hours before you buckle up. That’s right, no liquids starting the night before a big trip. Prepping me for a long car ride was essentially like prepping me for major surgery: do not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before; you may brush your teeth but do not swallow the water; take Tylenol with your last meal before said dehydration. Oh, the memories.

Ultimately, I have these wonderful road trip experiences to thank for my ability to drive home from my alma mater in upstate New York, without needed to stop for a rest room. That’s 6-7 hours of pit stop free cruising…and guess who hates to take bathroom breaks now…