Just Call Me KMZ.

So, there is just so much going on in my world these days, I decided to make a quick hit list of some of the headlines that have been clouding up my brain

• Not sure if I mentioned this before, but its SHARK WEEK.
• Ali picked Roberto! Thank god! Was I the only person who saw her fall in love with him on the first night? Chris, I am available, and I also love my family and am from Massachusetts. Just throwing it out there.
• LiLo is out of jail, and off to rehab! That was the fastest 90 days ever! Sorry, no sharp objects in rehab, LiLo.
• Jersey Shore is back. Six months without Snooki, shaattts, blowouts, girls forgetting to wear pants, and GTL is just too long.
• Shaq is coming to the Celtics? So does this mean he isn’t too busy filming his television show, where he proves his ego is bigger than his gargantuan bod (Sorry Shaq, but I doubt you are actually better at racecar driving than Dale Ernheart Jr.)? Is there even room for another big ego in the Boston Garden?
• Hillary Clinton, Mexico called and they want their quincenera dress back when you are done wearing it to Chelsea’s wedding. Thanks!
• 12 days until the New York Football Giants have their first pre-season game.
• 74% of the oil in the gulf has either evaporated or been otherwise eliminated
• Mike Tyson admits he appeared in 'The Hangover to fund drug habit. Gee, shocking.

Headlines that shouldn't still be headlines:

• Mel Gibson and his rants. I say we just treat him like he’s an obnoxious six year old. If we pretend he isn’t there, he will get bored and disappear.
• Anything to do with Tiger Woods.
• Michael Lohan and his inner struggles as a father.
• The fact that Giselle Bunchen believes breastfeeding babies should be required by law.
• Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston end their engagement for a second time. Is anyone surprised? I mean, I’m sure Mom and Dad weren’t too thrilled that her baby’s daddy was bashing the family name…and the mentally retarded family member…
• Justin Beiber went to Sea World. Other ridiculously unimportant highlights from his day include: 10,092 blinks, 3 sneezes and one funnel cake.
• “Dating models, I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes.”- another life lesson from Kanye. Thanks, CNN.