No, No, Summer Won't Go!

This just in. Summer is not over.

It is only July 28th, people. I have a month and a half of summer left followed by my favorite season, Indian summer. Don’t try to rush away the things [tans, corn on the cob, tans, day drinking outside, tans] that make me happy.

So, to lengthen my summer experience, I am asking people to stop doing the following:

1. Media Teams: Stop pushing September already. I am talking to you, really bad Office Max “back to school” commercial. You have aired even sooner than the Staples “back to school” commercial. Shame on you.
2. Teachers: stop talking about how summer vacation is almost over and you have to go back to work soon. Newsflash: you’re the only profession who gets a three month long “summer vacation” over the age of 21. Consider yourself lucky and stop complaining.
3. News Anchors: please stop using the “enjoy the weather while it lasts” segway in an attempt to avoid any other awkward silences. We can prepare for impending doom on our own, no need to cast the black cloud above all of our heads, Eeyore.
4. Stores: Hold on the fall fashion. I know you are excited to show us all those new looks in olive, neutrals, and eggplant, but do we really need to see you taking bathing suits off shelves in June?

So a big, giant “stop” to all you haters rushing away summer. The only people who can officially call off summer are the UPS men, because we all know summer is over once the UPS deliverymen trade their shorts for pants. I’m not panicking, because by then we will already be talking about snow. Ew.