True Life: I Snatch Babies

I like babies the way some people like puppies.

I understand this sentence requires an explanation, so here it is.

You know how some people are obsessed with puppies? Like the “use a cutesy voice, giggle with excitement, needs to pet it” kind of obsessive?

Yeah, well that is how I am with babies, well sans the whole petting thing.

If I find a baby particularly cute, I almost always need to say something to the parents/nanny/grandparents/nearest rando about how adorable their baby is, and then silently pray that they will stop and let me swoon over said baby.

Apparently this is not a normal response? I am sorry I’m not sorry.

I have always said that someday I am going to scare a new mother because of my sudden interest in her obviously cute offspring. I just didn’t expect that day to actually come.

Well, yesterday was the day. Yesterday was the day when a woman thought I was going to steal her baby. Um, do I look like a child thief?

At any rate, I was so mortified that I haven’t actually told anyone about it yet because I felt so uncomfortable about said interaction. I mean, I just thought her baby was cute!

Ok Kristin, back up before you send yourself into a complete panic about it…again.

So. Yesterday I was in line at CVS picking up one of my 4354235 prescriptions (with the aforementioned happy pharmacist.) Per usual, while in line I read People Magazine as fast as humanly possible (so that I can get my Lindsay [All Time] Low-han gossip fo’ free) it happened.

I saw the most perfect baby ever. This little man was a blonde, blue eyed beauty wearing light blue overall shorts, playing with his hair and giggling. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Once I glanced up, I made eye contact with said perfect baby who was smiling at me, so I did what any normal 24 year old female would do; I said “Hi” in my cute “I am talking to a baby” voice.

While normally I don’t interact with babies unless I am joined by a friend (because evidently 2 girls saying hi to a baby is less weird than one girl saying hi to a baby- go figure), this one was just too cute to pass up.

Reality Check. Apparently, talking to a baby alone is no longer normal, which is news to me.

Diva Mom immediately popped around (mid prescription pick up), shot me a “This baby isn’t for sale” look and stormed out.

Insert oddest, most confusing, rejected, awkward silence of my life. A bit confused as to what just happened, I moved forward and submitted my prescription refill to the pharmacist [who loves her job] and began to reflect. “Self, did you just scare a mother enough for her to leave CVS mid prescription pick up?”

Clearly the woman in line next to me saw how distraught I was over this odd baby interaction I had just had, and said “Well, aren’t I happy I didn’t say anything to her in the Advil aisle. What a nut!”

Okay lady, your “I’m just trying to make you feel better, because you did nothing wrong” comment did.not.work.

I am going to continue sulking until someone tells me I am not completely crazy.