Hurrinames.

Okay, yes, I admit, I have a weird obsession with names and weather. This I know.

I may have been that kid that sat in front of the television waiting for them to announce the hurricane names for the upcoming season when no one else around me cared. Welcome to my life.

Since I have been in a particularly research-oriented, “can’t let life questions go unanswered” mood lately, I decided to also tackle one of life’s bigger unanswered questions…

How did they decide the names of Hurricanes, and why aren’t they normal names?

Being that I am completely unable to leave questions I have unanswered, I did some research (shocking).

All hurricanes are named by the World Meteorological Organization and are included in a six year rotation, alternating between male and female names. Every sixth year, the first list of names begins again. After a particularly disastrous storm, the WMO retires the hurricane name permanently and picks a new one.

My first reaction? Why didn’t anyone tell me this when I was 7? I could have avoided years of disappointment after finding out “Kristin” hadn’t made the list repetitively.

My second reaction? Wow, these World Meteorological Organization people have a weird collection of namesakes…

Example? The sixth name of the 2009 Hurricane Season was Fabian…what ever happened to a normal name like Fred or Frank? Why is it that we need to pick unpronounceable names like Horrtense, Paloma, Cesar, or Hermine (admit it, you couldn’t pronounce it until after Harry Potter) when they could have picked names like Harry, Polly, Casey, or Helen? Also, why are we using international names like Juan, Gustav, and Phillipe when we can use their Americanized counterparts? I mean, this is America, right? Further, why is it when they do use normal names, they insist on spelling them differently? Why can’t Charley be Charlie, or Karl can’t be Carl, and Erika isn’t Erica? Why is it that the American People choose to spell common names in an alternate spelling, yet my name is always spelled wrong. Why the sudden spelling sensitivity, America? Am I the only person that thinks about things like this? The answer is most likely yes.

Of course there is always hope of my name being chosen due to a female K storm being retired. I had high hopes when Katrina’s name was retired, because there are only so many female names that start with K. This was my chance. Did the WMO choose the obvious choice of Kristin? No, no, they opted for the common American name, Katia (yet another name that could have alternate pronunciations, spellings and origins.)

I mean, it could be worse. There could be a hurricane named “Kristen.” That would haunt me for life.