when will it actually rain men?

Mother Nature has a fever, and the only prescription is more [inconvenient] natural disasters.

Here starts the 2010 fight between civilization and Mother Nature. Ding!

Round 1: At first, it seemed as though Mutha Nay-tcha was just playing a prank on Washington DC. Wouldn’t it be fun to watch all of the politicians try to pass the healthcare bill while shoveling themselves out of hundreds of inches of snow? I admit, I think it is a bit ironic, but that is another topic, for another time. Admittedly, while watching Southern Belles operate shovels for the first time in the lives proved to be entertaining to me, I did not like how it left my dear friend Emily stranded, snowed in, and most importantly, unavailable on gchat. One point: Mother Nature.

Round 2: Next came Haiti, who suffered Mother Nature’s wrath far worse than DC did (although DC could arguably have suffered even more, post healthcare reform.) Haiti was knocked out cold early in the second round, and quickly at that. Experts predict that it will take Haitians decades to physically, economically and mentally recover from the January 12 quake. Hope you feel powerful in the eyes of devastation, Mother Nature. Maybe you should think about picking on someone your own size! One low blow point: Mother Nature.

Round 3: Next came the quakes in California and Chile, both suffering from tremors exceeding 7.0 on the Ritcher Scale. After minor damage in California, and brief recovery in Chile, along a delay of friend’s trip to Chile, all was well in the world again. I am impressed that we were able to handle such a large rupture without having major to significant damage. The outcome didn’t look good for civilization at the beginning of the round, but luckily we were able to pull the upset at the end. One point: civilization.

Round 4: Mother Nature didn’t like losing round three. So to prove a point, she sent precipitation…and lots of it. Here at home, spring arrived, and with it came severe rain storms hosting over 20 inches of rain between them. Mother Nature was feeling generous, and brought said moisture to us in the form of rain, as if it had been snow, we would have been shoveling out of 16.7 feet of snow (each inch of rain equates to 10 inches of snow; you do the math.) In an attempt to reclaim her power, MN proved she had control when the rain proved to be too much and flooded the entire states of Rhode Island and Massachusetts. While I do enjoy Duck Boating around town, or using waders in an attempt to walk down my street, the allure of these activities wore off quickly as I was shopvaking basement flood water into buckets. While civilization put up a good fight, Mother Nature’s wrath proved to be too strong, and eventually we retreated, sadly and saturated in flood water. One heavy hearted point: Mother Nature.

Round 5: Now, Mother Nature has decided to add a buffer to her already overwhelming lead. For good measure, she has benched her best line, and brought in the underplayed freshman players to play on the varsity team. Who would have suspected the surprise upset to come from the outcast of the team, the Icelandic Volcano (which I think is an oxymoron in and of it self, but whatever) who erupted and thereby disturbed international travel across the world. Props to an otherwise unnotable volcano, which was able to singlehandedly interrupt flight patterns and travel plans of families everywhere. What a pain in the ash! One “don’t think we didn’t notice this is all happening during April vacation week” point: Mother Nature

So, here we are, merely sitting ducks in the game that is 2010 Natural Disasters. So far, civilization has had a tough fight, and I am wondering when the judges will decide it is appropriate to use the mercy rule, thereby ending the match. I am looking forward to Rounds 6 and 7, which will no doubt include extreme heat and/or severe drought. Bring on the suntans!