Spotted: America's Next Top Dancer

The following things are wrong with the video above.

1. The dance moves. This needs to be broken down into sub categories because I have so much to say

• The transitions. The dasian (dancing Asian) has her moves all wrong. At first, she had me convinced that I was watching a great multitasker: exercise and complete my daily prayers to my Tribal God? Sure! Then, she morphs into her hip-hop/jump trans, which quickly changes to her low spin/ganstah moves. The transition is much to quick, and doesn’t effectively segway to her next combination.
• The lack of technique. If she had true skillzzz, there would be no need for she to hang onto the safety bars while twirling around and spinning down low.
• Choice of music. If you are going to get amped up over a song, it most definitely should not be “Barbie Girl”… at least in public.

2. Her pace. Lets, for a second, eliminate the obvious fact that there is a prasian (prancing Asian) flailing around on a treadmill. Focus on the pace of the machine; our friend is maybe moving at 2.5 on the treadmill. I say crank it and prove a point, girlfriend. Lets see some real cardio out of you.

3. The outfit. I am not one to judge, but the pants tucked into the back of the shoes are not a good look.

4. The people around her are not seemingly phased by her crazy skillzzz. While they are painfully aware that this crasian (crazy Asian) is dancing along and most definitely invading their person exercise space (which is a big gym etiquette no-no in my book) neither of her neighbors budge. In fact, the woman to her immediate right stretches her arms as if she isn’t even aware that there is anyone on the tready next to her, never mind a flasian (flailing Asian.)

5. The culprit is smiling? It takes a moment to confirm, but by the end, the smasian (smiling Asian) is definitely sporting a cheek-to-cheek grin, especially when she pulls out a big move, like a spin or dip. She digs her moves, and thinks everyone else should as well. Maybe next time, dasian (diva Asian.)

Should I be embarrassed that I just dedicated an entire blog entry to the dance moves of an exasian (exercising Asian)? No. I have faith that Annie is no doubt ROTFLHAO…but she will not be able to tell us so, as she will actually be doing it.