You are addicted to Facebook. I am addicted to Facebook, Twitter, and most likely writing to this blog. Each of these social networking mediums serve either a personal or profession service to me, as I am sure they serve a similar purpose for you. There are some who utilize different social networking sites in the wrong way, and here is a list of the guiltiest of culprits:
The Gamer: I have compassion for gamers, I really do. If my day job as a marketing coordinator for a video game convention isn’t enough, I then have my 20 year old brother, who prides himself on his ability to game in our basement for hours at a time, to build my tolerance. There is one type of gamer I cannot stand: the Farmville enthusiast. I appreciate your eagerness to be involved in something bigger than you, but do you think it is necessary to publish all your farm milestones into the newsfeeds of those you socially network with? I think I speak for the vast majority of your facebook friends, associates, and frenemies when I say spare us on the chicken coop, pig pen, mysetery white egg updates. We do not actually care. On that note, stop inviting me to play Farmville; don’t you think I would have joined the first 27 times you invited me had I been interested (please see excessive inviter)
The quizzer: Another kind to use social networking sites in a negative manner is the nagging quizzer. While I enjoy perusing through my newsfeed with my hot green tea every morning to update on friends, colleagues, and frenemies, I do not need to learn the answers to every quiz you have taken since I last signed into my account. To the quizzer: I do not care that you took the “What President Are You?, Which Golden Girl Are You, What Villian from a Classic Disney Movie” quizzes and found out that you are Grover Cleveland, Bea Arthur, and Ursula, nor do I want to take the quiz to find out who my corresponding pair is. If you must, Take the quizzes to find your true identity, but don’t publish them for the world to see…I have a hard time publishing my photo albums for people to see, and half the people who would look at it are in the album!
The unfriendly poker: You have poked me, and in the good, friendly, online flirting world of facebook poking, I have poked you back…but then you poke me back again. Aggressive! It has now gone from a flirty, slightly cute suggestion to an awkward social interaction. Do I stand you up and abandon you in the virtual world of pokes, or do I poke you back, only to perpetuate the cycle of poking? There is a high chance that I will not re-poke after the initial poke, unless you are Hunter Karnedy, to which I will definitely poke back in order to ensure our future marriage. Further, what is with people who are not friends with me having the ability to poke me? I believe I will quote the wise Stephanie Judith Tanner with an appropriate: “How rude!”
The constant requester: This demon uses Facebook in its intended use, but is overzealous in execution. To the requester: if I wanted to play Mafia Wars, become a Fan of your ‘Super Unsuccessful Webpage,’ join the Green Patch, Fuzzy Bunny, or Favorite Cocktail Club, I probably would have done so on my own accord, but thank you for the invite in case I had somehow missed it. If you have already invited me, and I have rejected your invitation, it doesn’t mean that I will be interested if you re-invite me after I previously rejected your request. It means that I am either a) completely uninterested in your cause, b) anti-facebook clutter, or c) both. Regardless of my reasoning behind the aforementioned rejection, please take it as it is…a mere application rejection, and not an attack on your character or merit.
The philosopher/emo status updater. The excessive status updater challenges the very purpose of the status update itself. Is the status’ purpose to update your peers on things that are currently happening? Sure! Perchance to share exciting news or events? Yes! To ask questions that encompass the meaning of life? Definitely not. You are not Sophocles, Socrates, or Hercules, so don’t post as though you are.
In tandem, a status update is not an open forum regarding your current feelings, nor is it a place to hope for sympathy. The appropriate place to vent, rant, or complain is to a confidant (offline), in a diary, or in a slightly public, partially publicized blog (ahem.)
The person that writes you back on your wall with a question. True, I brought on this conflict myself by writing a comment on your wall that could possibly warrant a direct response from you (probably not, but go with it). I consider you writing back on my wall as your response to my call to action…your leaving a post open ended with a question poses a bigger moral dilemma than had I not written on your wall in the first place. Do I ignore your post and leave you out to dry, or do I answer your question, thereby becoming “that girl” on your wall? This quagmire is usually solved on a case by case basis, but generally I cringe to think about being a consecutive repeat facebook wall writer. Writer beware.
Bad grammar-er/over-abbreviator. We all enjoy using an approp. abrev. every once and a while. I am guilty of over abbreviating or making a grammar error on occasion, my bad. When is it not appropriate? 1) on facebook posts 2) in blog postings.
As a grammar geek, it pains me to leave other’s postings and/or comments on my wall, photo albums or (rare) status updates if they are grammatically incorrect. If you are taking the time to write a comment on my wall, knowing I am a punk for punctuation, take the time to proofread your post. Maybe it is just me, but I cringe to read posts or blogs with the misplacement of your vs. you’re. The “Kristin, your so awesome!” does not do it for me, and it shouldn’t do it for you either.
Further, the over-abbreviator (usually in conjunction with the bad grammar-er) will most likely send me over the edge. We all know how I feel about the term “LOL,” but what is with people who think that “LOLzzzz, LMAO, ROFLMAO” are appropriate responses to any facebook update. If you are in fact “roflmaoing” you would most definitely not be within reach of your keyboard, and certainly not in a state of mind to coherently express that you are rolling on the floor, laughing your ass off, as you type your response. That is a fact.
Take that, Mark Zuckerberg!
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