the 80's suck...NOT!

I was born in the right decade, but went to college in the wrong one. If I had been a 20-something in the 1980’s, I would have been in my absolute prime. I love everything that came out of the 80’s: the music; gimp; hell, I still wear spandex as though they are in style.

I know my exposure to the “authentic” 1980’s was rather limited, being a hopping 5 year old by end of decade; however, in hind sight, I like to think that I would have served as the epitome of 80’s pop culture, had I had the opportunity.

This weekend re-lit my 1980’s fire. My night was full of everything my normal, day to day, current 20-something career has been missing: crimpers, Aquanet, Prince. Really, the dance floor (which was complete with 80’s coverband, thank you very much) was a sea of neon, lace, and inappropriate hotpants. I soon realized I was way too comfortable in the midst of this company than I should have been. Between our wonderful outfits, displayed below, and killer dance moves (yes, the leg guitar and robot both made guest appearances), we made friends in no time. The night was ours.

This is me and a life-long gal pal in 1990(ish).

This is my attempt at trying to relive my glory days circa 1990(ish) on Friday night (with yet another life-long gal pal.)

This brings me to my list of things that I love about my relatively limited, but awfully authentic 80’s (and probably a bit of ‘90’s) experience beginning toward the end of the decade, through to, well right now.

• I loved the Babysitter’s Club series in all its mediums, and I always wanted to be Dawn because of her long blonde hair, and neat jorts.
• I owned and loved a skip-it; I was heartbroken when a) the counter reset after 999 skips and b) when I learned that you could make the number on the side go up by banging it on the sidewalk. Magic lost.
• I wanted to be DJ Tanner and Kelly Kaposki, and wanted to date both Steve and Zach Morris.
• I read, then re-read “Ramona Quimby: Age 8.” I thought Beatrice sucked, even as a seven year old.The following are completely appropriate comebacks: “I know you, are but what am I?” and “I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you.”
• I played with gimp…and I still played with gimp even when I was a camp counselor. I would still play with gimp if it was handed to me. Yes, I can do the tornado stitch.
• When I played “Oregon Trail,” I used the names of all of my friends in my covered wagon contingency. I wanted to use the names of my crushes, but never did…you know, in case they walked by.
• All diseases, including cooties, were preventable using: “Circle. Circle. Dot. Dot. Now I have my cootie shot…”
• I made my neighbor play Duck Hunt.
• My television schedule revolved around the Sesame Street and the Disney Channel Classics (Under the Umbrella Tree, Carebears, Dumbo’s Circus, and DuckTales, obviously)
• …Circle. Circle. Square. Square. Now I have it everywhere.
• I was really upset when they banned us from wearing slap bracelets in school because people would hit each other with them.
• The bracelets were made to complement an outfit, not to hurt one another…UGH!
• The Jetsons > The Flinestones
• My favorite outfit was a cantaloupe skort, and jellies. I misplaced them somewhere on a weekend trip to the cape, the same weekend my visited the Cape Cod Potato Chips plant. I remember that weekend vividly, but tortured myself over where my misplaced garments could have gone. The loss of the aforementioned skort and jellies was a traumatic event; they were classic pieces, and an integral part of my wardrobe.
• We had the best slip’n’slide hill in the neighborhood. We also had a sprinkler system. Take that, Longfellow Health Club!

This list by no means encompasses all of my childhood favorites, but these are just the few I thought of while I depleted the ozone layer while using an excessive amount of Aquanet (no open flames, please) and danced around to NKOTB.