...and Canada Dry Gingerale

In honor of the 2010 Winter Olympics beginning in Vancouver this week, I want to divulge the things that I love about the wonderful country of Canada. Of course, Canada is home to many wonderful things such as the Zipper, table hockey, and Trivial Pursuit, but I plan to highlight the things that truly make Canada a special place for me.

1. The Canadian Nation Anthem. Blessed is he who wrote the masterpiece that is “O Canada.” While my alliances obviously lie with the good ole US of A, the Canadian National Anthem has indeed had an impact on my life. Whether its because of my known Canadian heritage, its repetitiveness at hockey games, or its general catchy tune, I think the Canuck national anthem is just plain great. “O Canada” has made my short list of the Kristin-approved national anthems, and is in good company with our own “Star Spangled Banner” and England’s “God Save the Queen.” Mazel tov “Oh Canada,” I’ll stand on guard for thee any time.
2. Its drinking age, or lack there of. Depending on your choice of province, The Canadian drinking age is either 18 or 19 years old. If you are in Canada, you are able to consume alcohol at least two years earlier than you can in the United States. Two more years of extra dirty martinis. Any country who plays by those rules is a friend of mine, and should be a friend of yours to. I attribute the lower drinking age to the combination of its climate (you know, being absolutely freezing cold all the time) and its lack of things to do. Regardless of its reasoning, Canada has certainly scored extra points in all pre-21 year old Americans lives…and everyone remembers their first trip to Montreal.
3. Duty Free. I am frugal, and unless you like to aimlessly spend excess money on unnecessary things, you are frugal too. As the perfect partner to #2, Duty Free goods are yet another wonderful reason to embrace Canada with our encompassing, warm embraces. All people like cheap exports, especially alcoholic exports. All people, both over and under 21, can enjoy Canadian products at an inexpensive price. Economical and alcoholic? Yes, please.
4. Hockey. I am by no means the biggest hockey fan or enthusiast, and I won’t claim to be, but I have grown up watching, appreciating and loving the sport. Being the offspring of my proud UVM hockey fan dad, the man who believes that he fostered the career of Tim Thomas with a single nod, I have grown up with a broad understanding and enthusiasm for watching hockey. From age five to 17, I believed that I was destined to be a third generation Catamount at the University of Vermont, and when I chose to go elsewhere for my collegiate experience, I think I near broke my father’s heart. At any rate, my love for hockey only grew once I attended college, and learned of the most important part to hockey: the hockey player. Thank you Canada, for creating a sport that combines oafs, ice, beer, and physical contact. America thanks you for one of its favorite pastimes.
5. The accents. Hopefully I am not the only one who absolutely melts for a thick, hot Canadian accent (of course, it is often paired with think, hot Canadian.) I genuinely appreciate its crisp sound, one that I often can’t differentiate between the Minnesota accent, also a very attractive dialect, eh?
6. The Micmac. For those of you who do not already know, I am proud to be native Canadian, and I am proud to be a Micmac. How. (Insert stereotypical Indian hand motion here.) Being native entitles me to many perks within my homeland and allows me to do and say many things without being offensive to others. This list includes, but is not limited to war-hooping, pow wow-ing, lobstering/fishing without a license, and building casinos. I am blonde. I am blue eyed. I am sensitive to my native-ness, and I am easily offended re: my abnormal native appearance. Please be cognizant of this if you choose to bring up my heritage.
7. Poutine. I mean, I have yet to try Poutine sober, but I cannot imagine it is anything less than orgasmic. I like French fries; I like melted cheese; I like gravy- therefore, I must like Poutine by default, right? My limited experience with Poutine testifies to the fact that I do enjoy Poutine when I am in direct contact with it. Much thanks Canada, for providing us with yet another way to immediately clog arteries in a single bite.
8. Tim Hortons. As Americans, we enjoy culinary delicacies like Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, and Denny’s, but no breakfast bagel compares to that of Tim Horton’s. Maybe its extraordinary texture, taste, and overall deliciousness are directly correlated to how hungover I have been during said breakfast encounters, but nothing soothes a hangover quite like a toasted bagel from Tim Horton’s. Keep the bagels cooking Tim, and don’t be afraid to ship them off to the Navy Yard for testing. I’d be happy to be your bagel test dummy.
9. Alanis Morissette, Shania Twain, and Celine Dion. These women are like the Spice Girls of Canada. All represent girl power, and all have rocked great shows in awful outfits. I cringe to think of what my adolescence would have consisted of had I not had “Jagged Little Pill,” “Man, I feel like a Woman,” and “My Heart Will Go On.” Gracias Canada for providing Americans with some of their most influential pop divas…even though they became famous, made their fortunes, and ultimately existed in America.
10. The Walkie-Talkie. Yes, the Walkie-Talkie is Canadian, and was invented by Canadian Donald Hings in 1942. Don’t believe me? JFGI. At any rate, my life would be seriously sub-par without Hings’ invention. For one, family vacation communication would have become a lot more complicated; my mother and I would have actually had to get off our beach chairs to find my brother meandering around in the cruise arcade. Similarly, there would be little to no use for some of my favorite phrases such as: “10-4 good buddy” and “What’s your 20.” Two cans connected by string no longer rule the communication stage, welcome the Walkie Talkie.

So, if the 2010 Winter Olympics aren’t enough to get your Canadian spirit kicking, hopefully these ten things will make you appreciate Canada, even if just a bit more than you did before, eh?