I'm at a stoplight

Light Colors and corresponding action, according to the DMV:
STEADY RED: Stop. Do not go until the light is green.
STEADY YELLOW: Stop if safe.
STEADY GREEN: Go, but proceed with caution.(and who said I didn’t retain anything from my permit exam?)

Light Colors and corresponding action, according to me:
STEADY RED: Stop, but if you are turning right, a rolling stop is acceptable.
STEADY YELLOW: Use peripherals to check for cop. If clear, speed up, then glance back to see if there was a car behind you. The glance is a precautionary act incase you get pulled over by said cop that you didn’t see, and then need to explain why it was unsafe for you to stop. Ticket avoided.
STEADY GREEN: Go, but look both ways to catch any light runners.

Light Colors and corresponding action, according to Massachusetts drivers:
STEADY RED: Stop, but if you don’t feel like it, that is okay too.
STEADY YELLOW: Drive as fast as possible (even faster than you would if it was green) to beat the changing light, but like I said, even at the red light, stopping is optional if you are in a rush.
STEADY GREEN: Go, and get aggravated at the person in front of you who has braked for no apparent reason.I am no perfect driver, but I do feel that I am a considerate and safe driver.

Sometimes I wish I could get into my car and just drive…not aggressively, not defensively, not in my traffic/bumper combat gear, but in a smooth, calm, and enjoyable manner. I just want to drive with the windows down, and feel as smitten and carefree as the angel feels in that Philadelphia cream cheese commercial (you know, the one that makes you crave cheesecake every time you see it…)

Unfortunately, this is Massachusetts, and there is no such thing as a peaceful, not even a remotely enjoyable, ride anywhere. Why? Because in Massachusetts there are two kinds of drivers: those with an agenda, and those that have no agenda whatsoever.

Those with agendas have things to do, and generally the obstacle between themselves and place they need to be is you. Insert their cutting you off, riding your bumper, aggressively passing, or general angry disposition here.

Those without agendas are usually of the older persuasion, with their only real scheduled item being the silver hair special at IHOP. They do not care about the speed limit and how they are 15 below it, nor do they care that you are behind them, becoming more and more aggressive. Usually, these said drivers also glacially cruise toward an upcoming green light, only for them to make the light safely, but leave you stuck at the changing one.

I like to think of myself as the happy medium in this world of Massachusetts driving. I am the friendly, but slightly aggressive, defensive speed demon who is sometimes in a rush, but most of the time just looking to get where I need to be in a safe manner. I also hope that someday, all the Massachusetts agenda-ers, non-ers, and me-ers can all drive in harmony.

I am also looking forward to the day when I have no agenda, and can make it to IHOP in time for the early bird special. I love me a good pancake...(coincidently, today is free stack day at IHOP…if you live near one, that better be on the menu for dinner!)