Relationships For Dummies?

Alright, it is time to make my [just slightly neurotic] theory on relationships public.

In a relationship, you are either independent or dependent. I am not talking about the “I am completely self-reliant” independent or the “I can’t survive on my own” dependent, but rather those characteristics within a relationship.

If you are the independent person in your relationship, your world doesn’t revolve around said relationship. Your relationship is one [very important] aspect of your life, but you take part in many other things. You enjoy seeing friends and meeting new people, but you feel complete when you have your partner close to you, although you don’t require it to survive.*

If you are the dependent person in your relationship, your reality is consumed with your relationship, in a non-creepy sort of way. You have incorporated your partner into all aspects of your life, and want your partner to do the same. You want to spend all your time with your partner, and have made a social group of friends where you can be both with your partner and friends at the same time. You don’t understand couples who can carry on separate lives but be completely happy together.*

*I believe that an individual can be an independent or a dependent party, depending on their relationship, and it is very possible for a person to evolve from one to another.

Both of these types have their pros and their cons, and each of these types react and live in different ways. Now, how do these types weave into one another?

Kristin’s Dating Analogy:

An Independent can successfully date an Independent.

Why? Because each party appreciates their alone time. They do not see distance as a threat to their relationship, and are happy together but enjoy space at the same time.

A Dependent can successfully date a Dependent.

Why? Because each party likes being with one another as much as possible. Doing things as a couple reduces jealously that can populate from either party, even though they both like doing most things together anyway.

An Independent cannot date a Dependent.

Why? Because the more space the Independent wants, the harder the Dependent tries to hang on. While the Independent needs space in order to function, the Dependent sees space as a threat, and becomes increasingly anxious.

So, that’s my theory, and yes there maybe be loop holes, and exceptions to the rule, but I think that my idea serves as a good theory overall. Hopefully, this theory won't come back to bite me in the arse.