Monday, September 13, 2010

Spoiler Alert: NFL Breakdown (well, kinda)

Sunday Night Football: the all you need to know, based on my opinion:
(this is when you will realize that my Dad raised me as if I were a boy…at least during football season)
  • The New York Football Giants are currently undefeated. Not that I was able to watch the game, because of it being blacked out in my geographical “go Pats or go die” location, but I was able to obsessively watch status updates at the bottom of the television screen. My dad, who was also obsessively checking the score, also made “Yes,” “Oohs,” and “Ughs” so really I was completely up-to-date on the game without even watching it.
  • Another season is starting, and still no one has talked Michael Strahan back into playing with the Giants again. My heart is now completely broken.
  • Everyone needs a haircut. I am talking to you Tom Brady and A.J. Hawk.
  • Michael Vick, another reason to hate the Philadelphia Eagles, as if you need another.
  • There is something personally satisfying about seeing Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco both playing in Bengal uniforms, both living out of Cincinnati. Who would have thought there was enough space in Ohio for both their egos!
  • I support the New York Football Giants, the Patriots (when they aren’t playing the Giants) as well as anyone who beats the Cowboys and/or Eagles. Yesterday, the Redskins and the Packers were golden in my eyes.
  • Knowing that either Tony Romo or Donavan McNabb would absolutely lose their first game of the season? Priceless.
  • Results in aforementioned match up ending with a Romo/ Cowboys’ loss? (Insert evil laugh here.) I mean they still have their brand, spanking new stadium to fall back on, plus those cheerleaders and Jessica Simpson! Oh, wait.
  • Discussion. 99% of Bostonians know that Tom Brady was in a car accident last week. 99% of Bostonians know that Tom Brady walked away from the accidently, shaken up. 1% of Bostonians know that Boston PD needed to use the jaws of life in order to get those injured out of the other car (oh, you didn’t know there was another car involved, but you did know that Brady was standing on the side of the road using his cell phone for 45.9 seconds and that the car he was driving was a gift from his recent charity work? Weird!) Now back to you at the station, John!
  • Who is Kevin Kolb, where did he come from, why is he so good looking, but most importantly, why on God’s good earth is he playing for the Eagles?
  • Manny, excuse me, Randy Moss needs to realize that divas don’t get contracts, they get traded. Right, TO?
  • I still really wish that Plaxico Burress hadn’t shot himself in the foot. I just really miss him and his amazing, bobcat like reflexes. Sigh. Maybe when he’s realised from prison, Coughlin will think about picking him up again, I mean its not like he killed dogs or anything, do you agree
  • Go Wes Welker! I mean seriously, the state of Massachusetts has doubted this little man’s abilities since the word “recovery” came out of his mouth. I am glad he was able to show those blockhead Pats fans that an injury doesn’t mean he looses all of his skill, maybe just some.
  • Every time I watch a football game, I wonder if I missed my calling as a NFL cheerleader. Hi, dancing, spandex and football? That is like my dream evening in a package! That or being Pam Oliver, sans the whole really bad critiquing and bad makeup/wardrobe choices.

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