Hallo-ween Or Loss?

Tis’ that time of year again. Time for trick-or-treat

Time for candy (don’t eat anything already opened, of course!), pumpkins, crunchy leaves, and neighborhood kids running on our streets uncontrollably (wait…).

Tis’ the season for another important event: my overanalyzed, overthought inner monologue regarding what I will be for Halloween.

I can never decide. I am bad ad making decisions.

Since I had this very problem when I was deciding on what colleges I wanted to apply to, I will take my mother’s advice [again] and list the things I do not want to be for Halloween.

My List of Things I Won't Be this Halloween;
Cat: Are you 6? Are you completely and totally lazy and/or unoriginal? If you answered “yes” to either of those questions, then it is completely appropriate for you to be a feline friend. If you answered “no,” then perhaps you should think of something else to prance around in on October 31.

The Over Slutty Disney Character: Little Miss Muffit certainly didn’t wear that when she was eating her curds and weigh, so neither should you. Similarly, calling yourself “Poke-a-hot-ass” doesn’t make you creative, it only makes you look easy and unoriginal. Lastly, the point of Halloween is to dress up in a costume, and since you paid over $60 dollars for your Snow-white-sloot outfit, I am assuming that you are most certainly trying to show off your goods for all to see. The fact that you chose this slutty number proves that you are in fact slutty, not just pretending to be. Next year try really dressing up, maybe as a nun or even a good role model, neither of which you are in your day-to-day reality. Same goes to you, nurse, French maid or sailor.

Pimp: You are no pimp, so in theory this costume should work; however, the fact that you are a complete tool in reality greatly outweighs the humor and/or perfection of your outfit.

Dorothy: Follow the yellow brick road, go to the Wizard, and ask the Wizard to give you an original costume idea!

Sarah Palin: It was funny in 2008, and it was slightly amusing [but overdone] in 2009, but for the love of all things holy, please do not be Sarah Palin anymore. The “I can see Russia from my house” line expired long ago, and I would rather see you dress up as a cat. Plus, the Palin reference always sparks some sort of political debate, and I don’t like listening to people bicker between costumed keg stands. [Yes, I usually end up at parties involving kegs. I have high caliber friends]

Anything involving a Scream mask: Scream came out in 1996. You had almost 15 years to wear the scream mask, the glow-in-the-dark Scream mask, and the bleeding scream mask. This year, let’s try to use props that your 10 year-old brother wont steal from you afterwards
Ghost: I know! I’ll put a sheet over my head, cut out two eye-holes, and call it original.
Kissing Booth: I know last year was the year of Swine Flu, but seriously that is just yucky.

What else should be added to this list? Whats the worst halloween costume you've seen?