New Pet Peeve?
Backhanded compliments.
Excuse Mr. Backhanded-compliment-giver, what kind of reaction were you hoping for when you told me that “I am much smarter than I look?” Why is it that you are surprised to see my reaction being anything but gracious?
What he meant: You are smart!
What he said: You’re smart, but you look stupid.
What you heard: “I have thought you looked stupid for a long time, but after getting to know you better, I know you just look a lot dumber than you actually are.”
You essentially just admitted that your thought process re: me has gone from dumb blonde to less dumb blonde? Uh, thanks? This comment still leaves room for loop holes though, as if you think I look incredibly unintelligent this could mean that you still find my intelligence level to be below average, but above what you originally thought. So really, this is no compliment at all, but is left up to personal interpretation.
Just because you find your level of astuteness to be impeccably high, you know, since you were the one to decipher the fact that I am actually intelligent, doesn’t mean that I also need to praise you for your fine detective skills. Thanks though, James Bond.
Same goes to you “You age well” say-er.
What he meant: Hey, you look good!
What he just said: You’re visibly getting older, but you are still easy on the eyes.
What you heard: “Time to throw away that anti-wrinkle cream you’ve been using, since your lines/crowsfeet are definitely starting to show, but for an old person you look good. I mean, you don’t look anything like how you looked in your 20’s but I mean that was so long ago who would.”
Pardon me as I refrain from showering you with praises after you so generously complimented me. Its not that I don’t want to its just that at my old, archaic age, I might aggravate my arthritis in doing so.
You aren’t off the hook either Mr.“You look great, did you loose weight?” say-er.
What he meant: Wow! You look great!
What he said: You look so much better than you used to, and we’ve all noticed because you used to be so big.
What you heard: “Wow, you look so great when you aren’t a giant fatty. The whole time you were chunky I found you to be completely unattractive, but now I can look at you without my eyes burning! Guess I have to stop calling you Shamoo, now eh?”
Okay, so this is one of those backhanded compliments that really might have had good intentions and just came out wrong. Unless you are a close friend of my [to which then it is completely acceptable to say] then I would rather you just drool over my new hot bod without letting me know that you knew I was a heifer beforehand. Since weight doesn’t lose itself, I most likely knew I was on the larger side since your comment proves that you’ve noticed a physical change in me. Thank you for highlighting something that is most likely a very personal subject for me .
I mean, even the name is deceptive here. A backhanded compliment is really no compliment at all, but rather an insult disguised as a compliment. Can’t fool me pig!
Why don’t we re-name them to be passive insults. Go with it.
Gee, yet again I have taken this whole subject to a ridiculously unnecessary level. Who wants to trade brains?
On another note, today I learned that I realllly reallyyyy don’t like cooked celery in soups, so if you are going to make me soup, make it sans celery.
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