No, Emily, I Didn't Say "Rabbit Rabbit"

(I thought I posted this yesterday, but evidently my sprained wrist is affecting my brain)

Things that are extremely difficult to do when your wrist is sprained/aching and/or in a motion limiting brace

• typing. You are lucky I am willing enough to write anything (although by the time this entry is finished, it might have taken the better half of 4 days to write it.)
• washing my hair. Wrist and hand movement at the same time? Well, that is just cruel and unusual punishment. My solution? Don’t shower, duh.
• Cutting…like food, not myself. I’ve opted to follow my Neanderthal ancestors, by stabbing my protein with a fork and then ripping bits directly off of it, as opposed to nicely cutting meat into small pieces. You can take me anywhere, promise.
• Texting. Although since we know I am far too dependent on my phone to halt technological communication altogether, I have begun only texting with my right hand.
• Holding or opening anything. Its super fun when I convince myself that I can open something, only to then twist my wrist and remember why it is I am in a brace to begin with.
• Pulling up and/or pulling down my pants. Sounds weird, but when I drink a ridiculous amount of water daily, this affects my hourly bathroom trips. Further, my bathroom anxiety increases exponentially when there is potential for me to make weird/struggling/ohmygodicantgetmypantsup noises while alone in a stall
• Falling asleep.
• Touching/turning/otherwise interacting with my steering wheel. For now, I am a right hand driver only, although I can still use my left hand to throw my “what the eff” hand up in the air [but not the finger, I am far too classy to do that.]

Things that are still relatively easy to do, even with a hurt hand:

• complaining. Luckily for me, my mouth, and lack of filter, is still fully functioning. You are welcome.
• Eating. Unfortunately, my hurt hand doesn’t affect my appetite at all
• Channel changing. Opposable thumbs still work, and I can still rot my brain with crime shows while my wounds heal.
• Holding a [alcoholic] beverage. Empty bevs can be placed in the braced left hand, while full bevys can be placed in the right. Its an idiot proof plan that I fully intend to implement this weekend.