Shaq-ing Up?

My mother dedicated much time to a plan re: inviting Shaquille O’Neil to the Christmas Eve service at our hometown church.

Why? Because she thinks Shaq would appreciate a quality worship service with an intimate crowd and an emphasis on music.

Since Shaq moved into Sudbury, my mother has convinced herself that Shaq’s sole reason for moving here was because of our church, and hasn’t come yet simply because he hasn’t gotten the invitation. She had planned to be the one to invite him and include him in our very exclusive, but very warm, religious celebration.

Last night, my mother told us that Shaq would not be joining us on Christmas Eve. I immediately assumed that my mother had bumped into Shaq at our local grocery store, cornered him and scared him into not coming to our church, but for once Diane picked a normal option, and instead researched the Celtics game schedule.

Unfortunately, the Celtics have an away game on Christmas Eve, therefore completely eliminating the possibility of having Shaq join us in our celebration of the birth of Jesus.

She continued by saying that she did some follow up research so that she could invite him to another Sunday worship service, perhaps during advent.

My mother has now memorized the entire Celtics schedule, most games, much to her dismay, are on Sundays.

I have yet to break the news to her that Shaq will never be coming to our church for any type of Christian celebration…

Why? Because Shaq is Muslim.

Guess that didn’t surface in my mother’s research…

(I still love you anyway Mom, and maybe with your killer personality he will come just because you invited him!)