Janu-angry

I am not making a New Years Resolution, because no one actually keeps resolutions…

I do, however, believe in the concept behind setting a goal and achieving it, so this year, I am implementing two lifestyle changes that I hope will help improve my 2013.

No, neither of them are of the lose-weight, gym-more, be-a-better-you category, for two reasons:   

1.  If I were any more aware of what goes into my body, it would be unhealthy
2. My body, and its relationship with gravity, is involved in almost every decision I make.  There is simply no need to add a sham resolution to my already keenly-aware lifestyle.

With that, here are my two 2013 lifestyle changes that I am going to really, seriously, honest-to-God try to implement in my day-to-day life…which is why they aren’t exactly mind blowing.

Have less road rage.

It’s no secret that I have my fair share of car-related peril/anger/grudges, which in the past have all been completely necessary unnecessary.

It’s a new year.  I have a new car. I need a new attitude to match.

So I ask this: “self, how do you transition this resolution into a life change?”  Why sure, I’ll tell you.

• Stop aggressively honking.  If I have time to honk to prove a point, I have time to avoid the dumb driver.  In April 2010, I didn’t have time to honk: I was too busy braking, swerving, and thinking I was going to die. Stop honking unless its completely necessary.
• Stop yelling at people.  They can’t hear you, they really can’t.
• The whole “throwing your hands in the air to really drive the ‘I’m annoyed’ point home” needs to stop. Seriously. Plus, everyone in the car with you is looking at you…and judging.
• Use your blinker.  No really, use it.  Yes, even when switching lanes when no one is behind you.
• No more blogs about road rage. I know, I am as disappointed about this as you are.

The good news is that I have never, nor will I ever, flipped someone off in a car. So, I already have that going for me.

Notice how my resolution doesn’t completely eliminate road rage?  I mean, lets be realistic: I live in Boston – the capital of texting-while-driving, whatsa-blinker capital of America - there has to be some sort of geographically-sensitive grey area...

Take better pictures. 

This one is easy to explain.  2012 in pictures was mediocre at best, its not hard to improve when my photography looks like that of a six year old.

TGIT

Good: we, as in my hunky boyfriend and I, own 2 quirky yet slightly lovable cats.

Bad: they are slightly lovable....

TGIT: this is what happens every time I try to take a photo of Sally. I find it annoying that I have to surprise-photo-attack my cat so that I don't begin a photographic collection of her forehead.

#thisisalongpost

Twitter serves as my one-stop-shop for statuses, complaints, victories, and most recently free stuff [thanks McDonalds, Hooters, and Trident Gum!]  You should follow me – I am pretty witty.

At any rate, college students nationwide have been pouring their college realities into the Twitterverse, and it got me thinking: what would my twitterfeed have looked like during my college days?

I obviously couldn’t stop at thinking, and so, I have constructed my what-would-have-been collegiate twitterfeed, had I had this during my time at St. Lawrence University.

FRESHMAN YEAR:

@kristindacey: just saw the dance team body roll parallel to the grass at matriculation. Welcome to college.  #whenaretryouts

@kristindacey: clearly, it is no longer cool to go to bed at 10:30PM on weeknights. Body clock, please adjust accordingly #butilovesleep

@kristindacey: I live in the dorm so far on the outskirts of campus that it is faster to walk to the supermarket, than it is to eat in the dining hall. #smartfoodfordinner

@kristindacey: I MADE THE DANCE TEAM. #happydancehappydance

@kristindacey: nightly 6:00 dinner date with @maryewood, @bassettbaha, cyn, sar, and sarah…then off to Lee North to try and re-create a rum and grapefruit juice drink made by Cyn’s mama

@kristindacey: I just fell down the Pine Street staircase…again…and why is there sand all over the floor?! #frathouseproblems

@kristindacey: encounter with football boy in the dining hall. Played it cool by gasping and speed walking in the other direction #smoothmove

@kristindacey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o you are welcome.

@kristindacey: Copem find me inn the bachk bar of the tickr tock!!!!

@kristindacey: I woke up with a door knob from Phi Kap in my purse, so all evidence points to us having a good night? #whereisthegatorade

SOPHMORE YEAR:

@kristindacey: On the ferry en route to SLU. Moving into the block with the S6! #cantwait #sorryneighbors

@kristindacey: Update: our room is the size of a shoe closet…this should be good.

@kristindacey: starting rush…and spend an unhealthy amount of time on my nametag.  Don’t judge me - the nametag could be what gets me in…

@kristindacey: RUSHING GIVES ME EXTREME ANXIETY. Just had to peel myself off my dorm room floor after sobbing to my mom. Am I six? #justturnedinmybidcard

@kristindacey: DELTA DELTA DELTA!!!! BID DAY! #bestdayever #canteventweet #ohmygod

@kristindacey: What? Pledging? What is that?

@kristindacey: The three blind mice are confused why the bodypainted girl opted to do so in the rain. #youarenaked #thepaintisrunning

@kristindacey: can’t I just take whatever classes I want and call it a major? I hate my life #mymajorisbeingawesome

@kristindacey: Boy #1 just walked by in the red pleather pants he had on last night, and Boy #2 is in a light blue high-calf bathrobe.  Not sure my day can get much better, and its 11AM.

@kristindacey: that groaning that we thought was two people having sex in the shower all the time? No, no, just the big lunky football guy that lives down the hall #dontusethatshower #ew

JUNIOR YEAR:

@kristindacey: moving into Delta with Lisa and Sara. WOOP WOOP! #whyisntmarymovinginwithus

@kristindacey: tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no airrrr, aiirrrr @essceebee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvABw3j844k

@kristindacey: I have pretty much moved into the fourth floor of Whitman. #sorryimnotsorry

@kristindacey: I’d tweet more, but I can get better internet connection in Southern Africa than I can in this sorority. #1connecting

@kristindacey: #LIBRARYRAT #bringcaffienetothebackleftcornerofthelibrary #stressed

@kristindacey: everyone is going abroad.  If I don’t get into London, I will be drinking alone in my dorm room until next Fall. #pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

@kristindacey: LONDON OR BUST!

@kristindacey: getting on the plane, and I am already homesick? #maybemilkwasabadchoice #iloveamerica

@kristindacey: dear mom, call the dean. #welivewithswingers

@kristindacey: okay, so we don’t know how to turn on the hot water or the lights in the bathroom.  #coldbathbeforenightfall

@kristindacey: Stonehenge? Not so exciting. The spicy burrito for dinner? Pretty exciting.

SENIOR YEAR:

@kristindacey: moving into the suite. Goals for the year: making it out with all appendages and graduating…in that order.

@kristindacey:  Copem find me inn the frnt bar of the tickr tock!!!! #bettedaviseyes

@kristindacey: the moment after you frantically run to the bathroom hungover and exit to find the entire SLU football team sitting on your couch watching ANTM, waiting for a haircut…and judging you.

@kristindacey: @maryewood: come in my room.

@kristindacey: @maryewood: no, you come here.

@kristindacey: @maryewood: no, I am more hungover than you.

@kristindacey: @maryewood: fine. I’m coming.

@kristindacey: Senior Thesis-ing.  Don’t talk to me until end of December. #iminthecomputerlabofthelibrarybringcoffee

@kristindacey: “You taking two dance classes in one semester is like me taking two skiing classes” – Gabe Cohen #sorryimnotsorry #bestacademicsemesterever #deanslistorbust

@kristindacey: Should we talk about what happens if someone gets jello in their eyes during jello wrestling? No? Okay then.  #mom

@kristindacey: you can tell who was invited to Delta formal by whether they have blue glitter all over their pants. Hahahaha #festive #deltalovescrafts

@kristindacey: hungover. don’t talk to me.

@kristindacey: Poll: will anyone notice if I wear the same dress to Delta, Kappa, and Phi Kap formals or will everyone be equally blacked out all three nights?

@kristindacey: Apply for a job? What? What is a job?! #maybeishouldfailadanceclass #neverleaving

@kristindacey: I am sitting at graduation and I just realized I never took off my shower shoes… #myparentswillbeproud

All I'm Ever Gonna Be Is Mean?

Taylor Swift is this decade’s Nickelback.

Bold statement, I know, but just hear my thought process.

The cool thing now is to hate Nickelback.  Right?  I mean, I do.

The odd thing is that at one point I definitely liked Nickelback, and you did too, alone with millions of other Americans. I mean, how else would they have become so popular?  Someone had to have liked them, and don’t tell me you didn’t belt “How you remind me” in the car a couple of times.  Yes, I linked it for old times sake. You’re welcome.

Anywho, currently I dislike Nickelback, but I kind of feel bad about it.  I mean, they didn’t really do anything to me besides gradually annoy me more and more.  This is kind how my relationship with Tay-Tay is currently: tumultuous at best.

I was the first to stick up for Taylor during the Kanye scandal.  No one deserves to be publicly humiliated and bullied on such a large scale.  The girl has serious pipes, and a flawless career.  No one can take that away from her.

Lately, though, I have heard more about Taylor’s love life with Taylor Lautner  John Mayer  Jake Gyllenhaal   Conor Kennedy  Harry Styles than her music [which is ironic since she has written at least one song about each of her failed relationships] – and that annoys me.  If she wants to be a country singer, sing, if she wants to publicly display her failing love life, go on the Bachelor.  Either way, Tay will be in my life [hi, giant Bachelor fan here], but at least I will know how to properly categorize her in my brain.

Don’t get me wrong, I respect Taylor for being able to build an empire off of a teenager with a squeaky clean reputation, but slowly she is outgrowing the very image that made her famous.  At this rate, she has dated more men than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian combined during the same time period. That is no girl next door, America, unless its on HBO after 11PM.

I know that Taylor is most likely a misunderstood twenty-something just looking for love, but is it sympathy that now sells her records over her twang, yet slightly pop, voice? I like to think not, and I’d like to keep it that way.

At this point, every time I hear a Taylor song, I can’t help but wonder if she will ever, ever, ever get that it might be her, not the men she opts to date.

I am guilt-stricken for disliking Taylor as much as I currently do, but I just can’t help how I feel.

So, as I say to Nickelback, that’s enough Taylor Swift.