tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80927061057099333672024-03-12T19:56:18.659-04:00just slightly neuroticall good things are wild and free.Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.comBlogger239125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-16141262391044601282014-01-14T15:41:00.001-05:002014-01-14T15:53:35.473-05:00DIY<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">
Collegiate DIY and post-collegiate DIY are
very different: the main difference being that one audience is generally very
sober and one is generally very…not.</div>
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Let me start by saying that I am a
professional DIY-er, and have been for a very long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My DIY portfolio includes Christmas Pageant
garb, four years of sorority theme parties in upstate New York, and obviously Halloween
(times three per year because, duh, college.)<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> I haven’t purchased a Halloween costume since 2004.</i></div>
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That being said, my post-collegiate DIY has
morphed into an obsession with apartment décor and creating a Pottery Barn feel
on Dollar Store budget, and am on a never-ending quest to answer the “how do I
make my frat house apartment <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not look
like</i> a frat house apartment?” question. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No answer on that just yet.</div>
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Additionally, being an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">adult</i> has now afforded me the luxury of DIY in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real life. </i>[Real life meaning not stitching myself into a toga and
calling it “sewing.”]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I am hosting
baby and bridal showers for women with real, expensive standards on a real,
non-expensive budget. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Challenge accepted.</i></div>
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Because of my uncanny ability to set
unrealistic expectations for myself, I will share the easier DIY projects from my recent party. </div>
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<b>Most Recent DIY Event: Boyfriend's Sister's Baby Shower </b></div>
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<b>DIY baby banner</b> </div>
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<b>Effort Scale: moderate</b></div>
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<b>Price Factor: inexpensive</b></div>
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<b>Wow Factor: moderate</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0F83vy8maQ31brnb72WFUFypsr2IfmgKi7peOaGCCE-PI41-bTPbE3q9unU1f1G5xM8qPHBzZhRAX5QxaLHDdXdrgOqMMhAhtwAQxMTNpaxpSn1o8E_H2c5aM8YiJMac63-ZjpwU8RVg/s1600/babyf1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0F83vy8maQ31brnb72WFUFypsr2IfmgKi7peOaGCCE-PI41-bTPbE3q9unU1f1G5xM8qPHBzZhRAX5QxaLHDdXdrgOqMMhAhtwAQxMTNpaxpSn1o8E_H2c5aM8YiJMac63-ZjpwU8RVg/s320/babyf1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The banner was made using thick, by-the-sheet paper found at Michael's. I opted to use the same colors, but different patterns to make it less flat. If calligraphy isn’t your thing, you can also buy
pre-cut letters…<i>but where’s the fun in that?!</i>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAHpUJe_xZkkiNvJ1ZBnaksC8vYoJzKj29sWYH1DTBvIv40o2RkQNGafjUKehhagvsEXxhL8r57l_XJi7lkfRE1ceEw-bRThiZ-1-bAxerAlcuMiN1xDo_xAdOsSBuidr_c2mCQ-HLI3k/s1600/babyf6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAHpUJe_xZkkiNvJ1ZBnaksC8vYoJzKj29sWYH1DTBvIv40o2RkQNGafjUKehhagvsEXxhL8r57l_XJi7lkfRE1ceEw-bRThiZ-1-bAxerAlcuMiN1xDo_xAdOsSBuidr_c2mCQ-HLI3k/s320/babyf6.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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This DIY banner was super fun, and personalized the giant wall we were playing one-sie games on, but required lots of supplies, and even more glue-on-fingers. Overall, not a show stopper.</div>
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<b>DIY table sets</b></div>
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<b>Effort Scale: easy</b></div>
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<b>Price Factor: veryexpensive</b></div>
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<b>Wow Factor: moderate to high</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4o6JGD6tIe1nBk9TELSlJTfa5dPbmol7dsXWdv8iKQdV02puf0sywqfIldYZVXIvfu9YriEWQvJOLCXCuqet66DlHkVTlYULin0dD8wxxhYZoIqb4EciNEemoOJh87-sRs68lpg6ntzc/s1600/babyf2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4o6JGD6tIe1nBk9TELSlJTfa5dPbmol7dsXWdv8iKQdV02puf0sywqfIldYZVXIvfu9YriEWQvJOLCXCuqet66DlHkVTlYULin0dD8wxxhYZoIqb4EciNEemoOJh87-sRs68lpg6ntzc/s320/babyf2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The centerpieces were simply mason jars with fresh sunflowers and assorted pumpkins. To personalize, I created a baby photo montage of the Mum and Dad-to-be and recycled three old frames. The baby photos were a hit, but the sunflowers were quite pricey. </div>
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<b>DIY Chalkboard</b></div>
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<b>Effort Scale: moderate to difficult</b></div>
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<b>Price Factor: inexpensive</b></div>
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<b>Wow Factor: very, very high</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXzJG5UbxdoL2pAZrhAHKcVnuAj27RTLRVTYgOmkMd77VWrUubaFRxi3CWLT1_2mlfsBLSdSFk2SpPQ3CmNEalH5F9GH2VlBdc1SO8zPrC302Yk-kFrZ0QceD6EOpRwYqShoyfVnoHY8/s1600/babyf4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUXzJG5UbxdoL2pAZrhAHKcVnuAj27RTLRVTYgOmkMd77VWrUubaFRxi3CWLT1_2mlfsBLSdSFk2SpPQ3CmNEalH5F9GH2VlBdc1SO8zPrC302Yk-kFrZ0QceD6EOpRwYqShoyfVnoHY8/s320/babyf4.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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These are so fun to make, if you enjoy doodling. All supplies, including chalk, can be found at Home Depot <i>(but if you want chalk in fun colors, hit the CVS en route home. And, maybe get some Swedish Fish...)</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0pWcK1TZgniCJjQXsjR7OfAeCB9AhqMCjhi_F5zUvIoOq_OptvxU67gZpaDgCKvikv4lz0zcljgDhlDWuafptpdbEqS2kUU3HtnyAzJRPscgPFxqs4CNAMb0StD-KpnUyD27h_iXvqd0/s1600/babyf5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0pWcK1TZgniCJjQXsjR7OfAeCB9AhqMCjhi_F5zUvIoOq_OptvxU67gZpaDgCKvikv4lz0zcljgDhlDWuafptpdbEqS2kUU3HtnyAzJRPscgPFxqs4CNAMb0StD-KpnUyD27h_iXvqd0/s320/babyf5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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If there was one highlight of the entire baby shower, it was the Chalkboard signs - the ladies simply could not get enough of them. If you like sitting on the floor and coloring while watching sports, this is a good craft for you.</div>
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<b>DIY table decor</b></div>
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<b>Effort Scale: easy to moderate</b></div>
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<b>Price Factor: inexpensive </b></div>
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<b>Wow Factor: moderate</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSpd4ARm4_4G10GyasPz3cRBLL5mSfFP9Fwdp7RZlhG_6bjGkWcR5CuD-cF_L5yohwMHznBHjsKR0WNlXv2rDDlpUBqXjR5Db75zhJ3eA3Gly9IVpw9SEVSjZLw0Y3LhN7zbvOH7t8Ls8/s1600/babyf3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSpd4ARm4_4G10GyasPz3cRBLL5mSfFP9Fwdp7RZlhG_6bjGkWcR5CuD-cF_L5yohwMHznBHjsKR0WNlXv2rDDlpUBqXjR5Db75zhJ3eA3Gly9IVpw9SEVSjZLw0Y3LhN7zbvOH7t8Ls8/s320/babyf3.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Again, super cheap and super fun. I simply drew what I wanted to write in pencil, and outlined in marker. Boyfriend and I also wrote a note to Future-Neice so that it could live in her nursery.</div>
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<b>DIY Favors</b></div>
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<b>Effort Scale: moderate</b></div>
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<b>Price Factor: moderate to expensive</b></div>
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<b>Wow Factor: low to moderate</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6e335_kK91Jp6ygsRj3um7qA_yXdn0iRo-rm84osFDcdjSZmkJYiKxT6gNLsEgA955zQxHY17kf_7WxXiTTXIsib4D8XFkmeHRtouYVwgTy6inDbmlhSQ3eIWuZ4T6ibYwzEm2o5It3A/s1600/babyf7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6e335_kK91Jp6ygsRj3um7qA_yXdn0iRo-rm84osFDcdjSZmkJYiKxT6gNLsEgA955zQxHY17kf_7WxXiTTXIsib4D8XFkmeHRtouYVwgTy6inDbmlhSQ3eIWuZ4T6ibYwzEm2o5It3A/s320/babyf7.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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No, I didn't make the wine corks, but I did make the tags! Use a fun font, print out, and cut into circles, then simply tie ribbon into a loop and tape on the back.<b></b></div>
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This is how <strike>I tricked everyone into thinking</strike> I hosted an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">almost </i>Pinterest-worthy party without breaking the bank. </div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-41049576523457280892014-01-10T21:22:00.002-05:002014-01-14T15:46:34.189-05:00Questioning Questions?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I ask
meaningless questions, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">allegedly.</i></div>
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Boyfriend
told me this with an accompanying eye roll immediately after I looked over at
him and asked: “how often do you think someone throws up in the back of that
cruiser?!” while we were watching “Cops.” [Please ignore the fact that we were
watching “Cops.”]</div>
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Little does
he know that I have only shared a small tidbit of the reel of questions that I<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> actually</i> had.</div>
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Why did the
police just shove a smelly, fat, drunk man into the back of the car that they
drive every day? How much booze does it take to get this giant human being as
drunk as he currently is? Do they have a special transport car for those in
custody that smell like perma-drunk? How do they drive a car that smells like
perma-drunk man every day? What does a person<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> that</i> fat and<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> that</i> drunk
even smell like? What if it is extremely hot? How do they get the smell out?
This man is so drunk he is slurring. What happens if he throws up in the cop
car? Do they have a giant hose to clean the car? Can they charge the drunk
giant for throwing up in the police car?</div>
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These are
all questions I had asked myself that I opted not to ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really, he was lucky that I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only </i>asked one.</div>
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It was then
that I realized that I may be the only person who contemplates these types of
questions while watching reality law enforcement television, which leads me to
my next question: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how does no one else
think about this?!</i></div>
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I had a
similar experience last weekend when I realized that I am the only one who
finds favoritism in Pottery Barn magazine extremely distracting.</div>
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For Pottery
Barn and wasps everywhere, the monogram is an interior decorating staple, and
thereby is a feature in every magazine. I find the monogram to be extremely
distracting and have to investigate it with every PB mag I look in. Want to
know my question?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who has the monogram
C<span style="font-size: large;">M</span>E? C<span style="font-size: large;">M</span>E is sewn onto something in every single Pottery Barn magazine, a close
second being M<span style="font-size: large;">H</span>K. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go ahead. Look.</i> My questions
begin:</div>
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Who is C<span style="font-size: large;">M</span>E?
Does some big-wig Pottery Barn executive have a wife with the monogram C<span style="font-size: large;">M</span>E?
Does she get everything? How many monogrammed pieces can a single person
own?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who are the other monograms?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where do these monogrammed products go after
their use in the magazine?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there an
employee rotation? Do they play psychic and assume someone with those initials
will buy it and ship them used goods? Can I be put on the list of
monograms?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who gets the dog bed that
says “Coco?!”</div>
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For a
moment, after Boyfriend called me out on asking pointless questions, my
feelings were hurt. Am I really that abnormal because my brain continues to
ask? I’ve decided no. I’d rather be overly questioning than overly boring.</div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-66754935100380478692014-01-10T14:01:00.002-05:002014-01-14T15:47:08.608-05:00Dessert Was A Bad Idea...<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes I
have this weird moment where I say: “Self, maybe you are just a giant
Hypochondriac and don’t have Celiac Disease after all. You should eat something
with wheat in it…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just to be sure</i>.”</div>
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Then, days
like Christmas Eve happen, and I re-learn that I never want to eat gluten <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever, ever again</i>.</div>
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I am super aware
of what I put into my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gluten hides
in everything and I’ve learned that being a tad more relaxed on food research,
especially during the holidays, always results in my curling up on the floor, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wondering if I am actually going to die.</i></div>
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The floor is
no place to spend your Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Trust me.</i></div>
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This year, our
Annual Mother/Daughter Christmas dinner occurred on the Eve of Christmas
Eve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second to Christmas itself, this
tradition is my favorite evening of the year where my mother, our two friends,
and I meet at a super-fun restaurant and laugh, drink, and eat delicious food
together. This year, while we certainly laughed, drank, and ate; I opt to omit
the “delicious” descriptor from our meal; our service was rushed, our waitress
was distracted, and my scallops were burned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I should have known then that
dessert was a bad idea</b>, but upon receiving the dessert menu, the words <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gluten Free Chocolate Cake</i> immediately
got my attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, just yes.</div>
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Usually I
skip dessert, but because it was advertised specifically as gluten-free, we
decided to get a slice for the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
be sure, as always, I confirmed with our waitress that the cake was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually</i> gluten free, to which she said
yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She even mentioned that they had a
regular chocolate cake with gluten, but I reminded her of my allergy to wheat
and she confirmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I should have known then that dessert was a bad idea,</b> but went
against my better judgment and trusted the waitress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I continued
to ignore my gut when the cake arrived: it was the most beautiful slice of cake
I had seen in a long time, partially due to my thinking I could eat it. It was
delicious, and addicting, and I found myself devouring it with my usual
self-control seemingly missing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I should have known then that dessert was a
bad idea.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Fast forward
through my evening, I was restless and uncomfortable but thought nothing of it
- usually gluten poisoning hits me soon after ingestion, so the thought never
crossed my mind that she could be the culprit. In hind-sight, I’ve never
willingly eaten something so saturated with flour: now, I think my body was in
shock.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It wasn’t until
the morning where I realized the searing pain shooting through my body was
gluten, visiting for the holidays without an invitation. As it stood, I was due
at my parent’s house for pre-Christmas festivities, so I made my way there,
fighting the pain, pretending it could go away. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It didn’t.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I’m sure my
mother appreciated my holiday arrival which was something along the lines of: “Hi.
Merry Christmas. Iamgoingtothrowup<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">movemovemove.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I will spare
you the details, because Google, but after trying to fight through the family
dinner …and failing, I gave in to the Gluten Gods, and realized my Christmas wasn’t
going to be the usual church-going, carol-singing, Santa-filled night. No
lights, no carols, no laughing, no ho-ho-holiday spirit. Just me, my miserable
self, and my rockstar boyfriend. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Missing
church on Christmas Eve was my ultimate nightmare.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Luckily,
this Christmas, I was also witness to a true Christmas miracle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As quickly as the poison came, it seemingly
left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not to say I felt good by
any measure, but on Christmas, I was able to co-exist and ingest food like a
normal human without looking sloth-like. [Yes, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> actually what it looks like.]</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I have taken
small memories from this past Christmas Eve, and tucked them away to remember
in times of Celiac Doubt, for the days when I’m just unsure if I am actually
capable of lying to myself. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No Kristin,
you aren’t faking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No Kristin, you can’t
eat that roll. No Kristin, Christmas Eve 2013.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-1900829652583844042013-10-22T16:26:00.000-04:002014-01-10T22:52:33.000-05:00What I've Learned About Men After Living With Them...
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
One of the
biggest transitions of this past year was not moving in with my boyfriend... it
was moving in with <i>his roommates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Evidently, I
knew nothing about the male population prior to this. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Thus, I have
compiled what I have learned in the past year so that you don’t have to learn
the hard way…like I did.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. Men are messy.</b><br />
Remember,
the term “clean” is a relative term and used loosely based on personal
interpretation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To some, “clean” dishes
may be those that have been run under water sans soap and a sponge, but to me,
those dishes are called “dirty.” <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. Patience is a valuable virtue.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The shoes in
the middle of the hall will eventually be moved, but only after someone needs
to wear said shoes or someone trips over said shoes and is in enough pain to
alert the entire apartment about their stumble.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. Selective hearing exists.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It has been
widely rumored that men don’t listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While
at times this is accurate, don’t get caught assuming they aren’t listening when they
actually are. Side note: selective hearing isn’t one sided, so don’t be a hypocrite.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. The importance of picking your battles and
letting things go.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Men don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> drama like women do, but they do
observe and retain. Learn your breaking point, and understand what is and isn’t
important enough to get upset over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
you constantly complain, you’ll lose your audience (See #3), but if you are
tactful and direct, your point will resonate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Some men are clean.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Confused?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It turns out that some men are actually neat freaks. There is a strategy
here: align yourself with the clean one – he will be your voice in the battle
against dirt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6. We have way too much stuff.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Maybe it is
just because we have a shoe-box-sized closet for two people and two cats, but
it has become very apparent that we just have too much stuff. The problem?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t seem to figure out what we do <u>not</u>
need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What we do need? A large apartment
with vast amounts of storage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. Don’t ask questions you already know the
answers to.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It seems
simple, but avoiding this passive-aggressive tactic will save everyone the
frustrations (see #4).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. It is completely possible to play
videogames all day long…</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
…and only
that. There will be a day when you leave in the morning and return in the
evening to find all male roommates exactly where you left them in front of the
television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do yourself a favor, and don’t
ask what they did all day (see #7) and then get upset when you’ve learned they’ve
done nothing (see #4).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b>9. Men have feelings.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Our
apartment has been filled with immense joy, utter sadness, complete disappointment,
and total confusion over the past year. Unless you surround yourself with
uneducated, heartless men, you will know and embrace the many emotions you’ll
see from them. There is another lesson here: women can be cruel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b>10. I have a very supportive boyfriend.</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Moving in
together was never a formal step for us. One day, I woke up and realized that all of my
belongings were in his apartment, and I decided it was fair to start paying
rent. Every day, K continues to amaze me in how he can handle my over-sensitivity
and <strike>completely rational</strike> irrational anger without missing a beat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b>BONUS. A Dishwasher: you either have a functioning one, or you are one.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A dishwasher is one of those apartment luxuries that I will never take for granted again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Don't
think it's just me that's learned a thing or two since I've moved in.
No one is allowed to be afraid of tampons in our apartment anymore.
<br />
<br />Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-2604062088138431312013-01-11T14:34:00.001-05:002014-01-10T22:56:00.646-05:00Janu-angry
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am not
making a New Years Resolution, because no one <i>actually </i>keeps resolutions…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I do,
however, believe in the concept behind setting a goal and achieving it, so this
year, I am implementing two lifestyle changes that I hope will help improve my
2013.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>No</i>, neither
of them are of the lose-weight, gym-more, be-a-better-you category, for two
reasons:<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>If I were any more aware of what goes into my
body, it would be unhealthy</li>
<li>My body, and its relationship with gravity, is
involved in almost every decision I make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is simply no need to add a sham resolution to my already keenly-aware
lifestyle.</li>
</ol>
With that,
here are my two 2013 lifestyle changes that I am going to really, seriously, honest-to-God
try to implement in my day-to-day life…which is why they aren’t <i>exactly</i> mind
blowing.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b>Have less road rage.
</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s no
secret that I have my fair share of car-related peril/anger/grudges, which in
the past have all been completely <strike>necessary</strike> unnecessary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s a new
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a new car. I need a new attitude
to match.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So I ask
this: “self, how do you transition this resolution into a life change?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why sure, I’ll tell you.</div>
<ul>
<li>Stop aggressively honking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I have time to honk to prove a point, I
have time to avoid the dumb driver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
April 2010, I didn’t have time to honk: I was too busy braking, swerving, and
thinking I was going to die. Stop honking unless its <i>completely </i>necessary.<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Stop yelling at people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can’t hear you, they <i>really</i> can’t.</li>
<li>The whole “throwing your hands in the air to
really drive the ‘I’m annoyed’ point home” needs to stop. <i>Seriously.</i> Plus,
everyone in the car with you is looking at you…and judging.<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"></span></span></li>
<li><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Use your blinker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No really, use it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, even when switching lanes when no one is
behind you.</li>
<li>No more blogs about road rage. I know, I am as disappointed
about this as you are.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The good
news is that I have never, nor will I ever, flipped someone off in a car. So, I
already have that going for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Notice how
my resolution doesn’t <i>completely </i>eliminate road rage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, lets be realistic: I live in Boston –
the capital of texting-while-driving, whatsa-blinker capital of America - there has to be some sort of geographically-sensitive grey area...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<b>Take better pictures. </b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This one is
easy to explain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2012 in pictures was
mediocre at best, its not hard to improve when my photography looks like that
of a six year old. </div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-6044637040907055932013-01-10T13:44:00.002-05:002014-01-10T22:57:20.744-05:00TGIT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKjWwLaTDkrQx5zOg1fXbZ6c8vbAbZb_iGkFaI728CiX5dNaIaxPMWJdKiMr4uzjnuheJYsp6clBP40Mr4y4IfyIQ3lV70fk1h6RLNtDePB_k0oSwoPn8ITcG_Abvkg3ZnY8ntyZ_qWXM/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKjWwLaTDkrQx5zOg1fXbZ6c8vbAbZb_iGkFaI728CiX5dNaIaxPMWJdKiMr4uzjnuheJYsp6clBP40Mr4y4IfyIQ3lV70fk1h6RLNtDePB_k0oSwoPn8ITcG_Abvkg3ZnY8ntyZ_qWXM/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" /></a></div><br />
Good: we, as in my hunky boyfriend and I, own 2 quirky yet slightly lovable cats.<br />
<br />
Bad: they are slightly lovable....<br />
<br />
TGIT: this is what happens every time I try to take a photo of Sally. I find it annoying that I have to surprise-photo-attack my cat so that I don't begin a photographic collection of her forehead.Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-51457377935521515742013-01-09T14:25:00.000-05:002014-01-10T22:57:56.790-05:00#thisisalongpost
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Twitter
serves as my one-stop-shop for statuses, complaints, victories, and most
recently free stuff [thanks McDonalds, Hooters, and Trident Gum!]<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should follow me – I am pretty witty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
At any rate,
college students nationwide have been pouring their college realities into the
Twitterverse, and it got me thinking: what would my twitterfeed have looked
like during my college days?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I obviously couldn’t
stop at thinking, and so, I have constructed my what-would-have-been collegiate
twitterfeed, had I had this during my time at St. Lawrence University.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">FRESHMAN YEAR:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
just saw the dance team body roll parallel to the grass at matriculation. Welcome
to college. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#whenaretryouts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
clearly, it is no longer cool to go to bed at 10:30PM on weeknights. Body
clock, please adjust accordingly #butilovesleep</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I live in the dorm so far on the outskirts of campus that it is faster to walk
to the supermarket, than it is to eat in the dining hall. #smartfoodfordinner</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I MADE THE DANCE TEAM. #happydancehappydance</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
nightly 6:00 dinner date with @maryewood, @bassettbaha, cyn, sar, and sarah…then
off to Lee North to try and re-create a rum and grapefruit juice drink made by
Cyn’s mama</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I just fell down the Pine Street staircase…again…and why is there sand all over
the floor?! #frathouseproblems</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
encounter with football boy in the dining hall. Played it cool by gasping and
speed walking in the other direction #smoothmove</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o</a>
you are welcome.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Copem find me inn the bachk bar of the tickr tock!!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I woke up with a door knob from Phi Kap in my purse, so all evidence points to
us having a good night? #whereisthegatorade</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">SOPHMORE YEAR:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
On the ferry en route to SLU. Moving into the block with the S6! #cantwait
#sorryneighbors</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Update: our room is the size of a shoe closet…this should be good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
starting rush…and spend an unhealthy amount of time on my nametag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t judge me - the nametag could be what
gets me in…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
RUSHING GIVES ME EXTREME ANXIETY. Just had to peel myself off my dorm room
floor after sobbing to my mom. Am I six? #justturnedinmybidcard</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
DELTA DELTA DELTA!!!! BID DAY! #bestdayever #canteventweet #ohmygod</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
What? Pledging? What is that?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
The three blind mice are confused why the bodypainted girl opted to do so in
the rain. #youarenaked #thepaintisrunning</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
can’t I just take whatever classes I want and call it a major? I hate my life
#mymajorisbeingawesome</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Boy #1 just walked by in the red pleather pants he had on last night, and Boy
#2 is in a light blue high-calf bathrobe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not sure my day can get much better, and its 11AM.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
that groaning that we thought was two people having sex in the shower all the
time? No, no, just the big lunky football guy that lives down the hall
#dontusethatshower #ew</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">JUNIOR YEAR:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
moving into Delta with Lisa and Sara. WOOP WOOP! #whyisntmarymovinginwithus</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no airrrr, aiirrrr @essceebee <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvABw3j844k">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvABw3j844k</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I have pretty much moved into the fourth floor of Whitman. #sorryimnotsorry</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I’d tweet more, but I can get better internet connection in Southern Africa
than I can in this sorority. #1connecting</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
#LIBRARYRAT #bringcaffienetothebackleftcornerofthelibrary #stressed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
everyone is going abroad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I don’t get
into London, I will be drinking alone in my dorm room until next Fall.
#pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
LONDON OR BUST!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
getting on the plane, and I am already homesick? #maybemilkwasabadchoice
#iloveamerica</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
dear mom, call the dean. #welivewithswingers</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
okay, so we don’t know how to turn on the hot water or the lights in the
bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#coldbathbeforenightfall </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Stonehenge? Not so exciting. The spicy burrito for dinner? Pretty exciting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">SENIOR YEAR:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
moving into the suite. Goals for the year: making it out with all appendages and
graduating…in that order.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Copem find me inn the frnt bar of the tickr
tock!!!! #bettedaviseyes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
the moment after you frantically run to the bathroom hungover and exit to find
the entire SLU football team sitting on your couch watching ANTM, waiting for a
haircut…and judging you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
@maryewood: come in my room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
@maryewood: no, you come here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
@maryewood: no, I am more hungover than you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
@maryewood: fine. I’m coming.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Senior Thesis-ing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t talk to me
until end of December. #iminthecomputerlabofthelibrarybringcoffee</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
“You taking two dance classes in one semester is like me taking two skiing
classes” – Gabe Cohen #sorryimnotsorry #bestacademicsemesterever
#deanslistorbust</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Should we talk about what happens if someone gets jello in their eyes during
jello wrestling? No? Okay then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#mom</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
you can tell who was invited to Delta formal by whether they have blue glitter
all over their pants. Hahahaha #festive #deltalovescrafts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
hungover. don’t talk to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Poll: will anyone notice if I wear the same dress to Delta, Kappa, and Phi Kap
formals or will everyone be equally blacked out all three nights?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
Apply for a job? What? What is a job?! #maybeishouldfailadanceclass
#neverleaving</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
@kristindacey:
I am sitting at graduation and I just realized I never took off my shower shoes…
#myparentswillbeproud</div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-83634910331273810682013-01-08T20:54:00.000-05:002014-01-10T22:58:40.335-05:00All I'm Ever Gonna Be Is Mean?
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Taylor Swift
is this decade’s Nickelback.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Bold
statement, I know, but just hear my thought process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The cool
thing now is to hate Nickelback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i>Right?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><i> </i> </span>I mean, I do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The odd
thing is that at one point I definitely liked Nickelback, and you did too,
alone with millions of other Americans. I mean, how else would they have become
so popular?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Someone </i>had to have liked
them, and don’t tell me you didn’t belt <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cQh1ccqu8M">“How you remind me”</a> in the car a couple
of times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I linked it for old times
sake. <i>You’re welcome.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Anywho,
currently I dislike Nickelback, but I kind of feel bad about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, they didn’t really <i>do</i> anything to me
besides gradually annoy me more and more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is kind how my relationship with Tay-Tay is currently: tumultuous
at best.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I was the first
to stick up for Taylor during the Kanye scandal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one deserves to be publicly humiliated and
bullied on such a large scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The girl
has serious pipes, and a flawless career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No one can take that away from her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Lately,
though, I have heard more about Taylor’s love life with <strike>Taylor Lautner</strike> <strike>John
Mayer</strike> <strike>Jake Gyllenhaal</strike><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><strike>Conor Kennedy</strike>
Harry Styles than her music [which is ironic since she has written at least one
song about each of her failed relationships] – and that annoys me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she wants to be a country singer, sing, if
she wants to publicly display her failing love life, go on the Bachelor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, Tay will be in my life [hi, giant
Bachelor fan here], but at least I will know how to properly categorize her in
my brain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Don’t get me
wrong, I respect Taylor for being able to build an empire off of a teenager
with a squeaky clean reputation, but slowly she is outgrowing the very image
that made her famous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this rate, she
has dated more men than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian combined during the
same time period. That is no girl next door, America, unless its on HBO after
11PM.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I know that
Taylor is most likely a misunderstood twenty-something just looking for love,
but is it sympathy that now sells her records over her twang, yet slightly pop,
voice? I like to think not, and I’d like to keep it that way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
At this
point, every time I hear a Taylor song, I can’t help but wonder if she will
ever, ever, ever get that it might be her, not the men she opts to date.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am
guilt-stricken for disliking Taylor as much as I currently do, but I just can’t
help how I feel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So, as I say
to Nickelback, that’s enough Taylor Swift.</div>
Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-72500217441247323912012-05-18T13:11:00.000-04:002014-01-10T22:59:00.730-05:00Do You Want To Drive?
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Ive come to
terms with the fact that there is one condition where I feel completely
comfortable driving – and that is when I am in the passenger seat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Unsatisfactory
driving condition breakdown, ahem:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I am in a hurry</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
My life is a
string of activities held together by unrealistic travel times; therefore, a majority
of my life is spent trying to get somewhere faster than it is physically
possible. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Again,</i> we stumble onto my reoccurring problem with unrealistic
expectations, or in this case, commuting realities. My apartment to my parent’s
house in 25 minutes? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sure!</i> Work in
Framingham to my apartment in Boston in less than 45 minutes at 5:00 on a
Friday? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Doable.</i> Boston to the Martha’s
Vineyard ferry in less than two hours? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Totally
realistic.</i> It is also imminent that I will hit the worst traffic when I am
in the biggest hurry [please see <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When in
traffic</b>.]</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in a hurry:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oh hey,
constant state of anxious panic! I’ve missed you. Elevated heartrate? Check.
Compulsively switching lanes to keep from breaking? Check. Yelling at
the car in front of me? Check.
Constantly staring at the clock?
Check. Either listening to music
really loudly, or accidentally sitting in complete silence? Check. Doing all this while also looking for
undercover staties? Check.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I am in traffic:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am not a
good traffic driver. I absolutely abhor sitting bumper to bumper for no
apparent reason other than a minivan with a flat tire in the breakdown lane. Bostonians are naturally a curious, some say
noisy, breed; combine inbred curious personalities with awful driving technique
and you’ll get the perfect set up for an additional accident due to staring at
said mini-van. There is nothing to see,
fellow drivers. Less looking and more
foot-to-gas-pedal, please.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in traffic? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Let the
games begin! As soon as I see brake
lights, I almost immediately fly into the lane that is moving the fastest and
try to ride on the coattails of the drivers in front of me to bypass traffic. Once I realize that I’m not going anywhere
anytime soon, I then pick a car in another lane and race it…while in traffic. The
game changes when I am in a rush, to which I then become <i>that</i> girl who rides
the bumper of the car in front of me in hopes of getting them to go faster, you
know, because its<i> their </i>fault that I am sitting in traffic with only 15 minutes
to get home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its raining:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
95% of
Massachusetts drivers panic and/or completely forget how to drive when any form
of moisture falls from the sky. It is
water, people, not molten lava. Regardless, rain means windshield wipers, windshield
wipers mean distracted driving, distracted driving means traffic. I hate
traffic [please see <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When in traffic –</b>are
we sensing a trend?]</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in the rain?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Since my windshield
wipers now work, a majority of my drive consists of my smiling at said functioning
windshield wipers, and giving Gertrude in the Subaru in front of me plenty of space as she
breaks for puddles.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its monsooning:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Rain is one
thing, but outright downpours are another. No one likes driving while being
unable to see.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in a monsoon?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
White
knuckle driving, hands at ten and two. No talking. Most likely on the verge of
tears.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its snowing:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am better
at driving in the snow than you are, I can dig my car out faster than you, and
I can get my car out of almost any snowed-in parking space. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes,</i>
I am talking to you. My vast experience
comes from father-taught skidding seminars, living in the arctic tundra
throughout my collegiate years, and one particularly bad 9 hour drive home from
Burlington, Vermont a la blizzard that has left me very confident in my
abilities to drive in the snow. I am not worried about my driving in the snow;
I am worried about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">yours. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in the snow?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Space. Lots
of space happens in the snow. I give you space; you give me space; and we both
win when you go into a decent skid into the other lane, and I am able to stop
with nailing you. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You are very welcome</i>.
If the weather is considered blizzarding and requires actual attention, please
see <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its monsooning.</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its dark:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
For those of
you who don’t know, I am nearsighted and am in complete denial over the fact
that I need to wear my glasses in order to see far distances. Darkness
heightens my said blindness, yet I still never have my glasses with me when I
need them. Need me to read an upcoming
exit sign? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Not going to happen. </i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving in the dark?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I lock my
doors (stranger danger), and start squinting a la Long Duck Dong.
Yes, that was just a reference to “Sixteen Candles.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I have acquaintance-level people in
the car:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Obviously, I
am completely comfortable driving around my friends and family – its when
friends-of-friends or acquaintances join that this blonde gets a tad
uncomfortable.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Am I driving too
slow? Are they judging me for not using
my blinker? Do they think my radio
pre-set is sub-par? Are they concerned
that I am a hoarding out of my car?</i> All of these thoughts monopolize my brain
while I have unfamiliar company in the car, when the majority of my brain power
should be actually spent concentrating on the road. Since passengers are most
likely only concerned with getting from Point A to Point B quickly and safely,
it becomes a mute point if they are enjoying my music selection if we slam into
the back of another car because I was fiddling with the radio. I digress.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
What happens
when I am driving with other people in the car?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am always
talking; <i>shocking</i>, I know. I think it is
my way of making sure they are entertained for the entirety of the car ride. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What,</i> its not normal wanting people to
reflect on their car ride fondly? Would
you mind filling out a post-ride survey outlining your Sass experience?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When its sunny:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You’d think
that a sunny day would be an anxiety free experience, but then I remember that
beautiful April day in 2010, when I <i>technically</i> totaled Sass…so then there’s
that…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
At any rate, you can see how most likely shouldn't operate a motor vehicle at all since my attention is almost always focused on something other than the actual road.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
(Disclaimer: I am <i>actually</i> a very good driver, I just hate doing it.) </div>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-87851283162667989492012-04-12T16:18:00.003-04:002012-04-12T16:22:10.503-04:00Confessions of a Teenage Drama QueenJust kidding, only confessions from me…a just slightly neurotic twenty-something…not nearly as dramatic, but definitely as hormonal.<br /><ol><li>I spend way too much time thinking about how birds get inside the mall…</li><li>Hi, my name is Kristin and I am a fan of Wilson Phillips. You are too, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM&ob=av2e">you should watch this video</a>.</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Apparently, </span>every time I get up from my desk, I hum and/or sing whatever song is currently stuck in my head. Unfortunate for those who dislike Wilson Phillips, see #2.</li><li>I think those who don’t utilize resistance on cardio machines are wimps.</li><li>Sitting Indian style > sitting any other way.</li><li>I have double jointed hips and toes. #ballerinaproblems</li><li>I only buy OPI nail polish…and its because I think the color names are witty, kind of like me.</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Apparently,</span> I am the only person who despises cantaloupe. </li><li>I have to actively not pick nail polish off my fingernails.</li><li>There is nothing more annoying to me than someone who misspells my name.</li><li>Best feeling ever = newly sharpened pencil. Note: pencil can be both of the lead and make-up variety. </li><li>According to most bridesmaid dress measurement charts, my chest size is 3 sizes larger than the rest of my body. I keep reminding myself that some women pay to have this problem. <span style="font-style: italic;">Right.</span> </li><li>I am twenty five years old, and I still say the alphabet when I bend the tab on top of a seltzer can. You do the math. </li><li>If I need chocolate, it seems as though any type will do…in unrelated news, did you know there is chocolate whipped cream? </li><li>There is often abnormally loud cracks that come from my joints. I blame 22 years of dance, my mother blames 20 years of purposeful cracking. </li><li>I notice when people don’t wash their hands in a public bathroom. They are lucky I don’t chase after them with hand sanitizer</li><li>My dresser is from the infant department of target…and now I get emails weekly about Target’s nursery furniture sales. Just because I lived in a small apartment does not make me an expectant mother, Target.</li><li>My afternoon snack almost always includes a glass of almond milk. Am I six? </li><li>If you are busy enough, no one will notice that you haven’t styled your hair or worn anything but Ugg boots to work for the past 3 weeks. </li><li>It is now unnatural for me to use an informal contraction in any type of writing – informal or not. What – you <span style="font-style: italic;">don’t</span> feel like you’ve committed a crime when you use don’t instead of do not?<br /></li></ol>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-81403418866312217422012-03-15T13:55:00.000-04:002012-03-15T13:57:17.311-04:00TGIT<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY8ML_0JWtZUGRSmOHkGzndna2wboNMMDDd7PZ_9E1fq-ODJdc3gZ4Syd68u6nDpwZ0qVUepNI9kDdwfRyMbNsnsNGeRHdQe2ddrBfc0FkBAuxX2uDbqlaW5j1BwcatA5xCxoAkwo2vWE/s1600/photo.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY8ML_0JWtZUGRSmOHkGzndna2wboNMMDDd7PZ_9E1fq-ODJdc3gZ4Syd68u6nDpwZ0qVUepNI9kDdwfRyMbNsnsNGeRHdQe2ddrBfc0FkBAuxX2uDbqlaW5j1BwcatA5xCxoAkwo2vWE/s400/photo.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5720184235526683938" border="0" /></a>This happened. #irishgirlproblems.<br /></div>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-74920143393581536762012-03-14T16:41:00.004-04:002013-07-19T11:28:06.531-04:00Daylight Savings Directly Caused Me To Re-Live Middle School[Disclaimer: this is a story I just have to put out into the universe…but I feel like a cyber bully…]<br /><br />This morning was odd. For one, getting out of bed post time change has been, well, just plain painful.<br />I am a morning person, but I am no morning person when the clock says its 6AM, but it is<i> really</i> 5AM. That makes my clock a liar, and we all know how I feel about <i>those</i>.<br /><b>Daylight savings caused me sleep loss.</b><br />At any rate, there I was this morning with an unusual craving for a caffeinated beverage, and knowing what my day had in store, I indulged and stopped. That should have been my first clue that something in my day was to go awry…the last time I stopped for coffee “just because” was about ten minutes before the Great Car Accident of 2010. <a href="http://justslightlyneurotic.blogspot.com/2010/04/saving-sass-round-2.html">Click here if you haven’t read that gem yet</a>…<br /><b>Daylight savings caused me sleep loss which caused me to stop for caffeine.</b><br />Immediately after walking into Starbucks, I regretted my decision to stop for coffee. The line was far too long for the caffeine headache I was undoubtedly going to get at 3:00PM because I so rarely drink caffeine. I <i>almost</i> turned around, but I decided to stay. As I am haphazardly catching up on some of my Words With Friends games (which has become a chore in and of itself), I hear a “Oh my god! Is that you Kristin Dacey?!”<br /><br />That is a line that I never like to hear, but that is a line I am down-right afraid to hear if I am a) in my hometown, b) not wearing any make up, or c) in a hurry. Luckily for me, this morning I hit the trifecta.<br /><br />I turn around with my best fake sorority smile, not knowing who to expect, and there she was: my middle school bully.<br /><br />I will be the first to admit that middle school sucks. Period. People who say they liked middle school are one of two things:<br />
<ol>
<li>A bold-face liar</li>
<li>One of those mean girls who peaked far too early in their social career.</li>
</ol>
The middle school bully was not popular or pretty…she was just a girl, who didn’t want a new girl to join her social circle…and I had. Because no one <i>actually</i> wants to hear about my middle school baggage, and frankly, I am not ready to be that transparent, we will just go on record as saying that she was mostly successful re: making my life miserable…I mean, it is only healthy to scrub your name off a bathroom wall so many times before it starts to wear you down.<br />
<br />Back to the Starbucks, I am now make-up-less face-to-face with the bully…and we are both in the same snail’s pace line. I was stuck.<br /><b>Daylight savings caused me sleep loss which caused me to stop for caffeine which led me to see Bully.</b><br />I have to say, we had a very nice conversation and I left with a caffeinated beverage, and a little extra oomph in my step.<br /><br /><i>Why</i>, you might ask? Because I ran into the middle school bully, and she was ugly and unemployed.<br /><br />My mom will be thrilled to know that her prediction of 15 years ago has come to fruition. Does it make me a bad person that I am not upset that she was right?Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-64568639582611127822012-01-12T11:15:00.003-05:002012-01-12T11:39:29.842-05:00TGITI have decided that if I were ever to vacate my desk quickly, this is what I would have left someone else to not only clean up, but also decipher.<br /><br />This is what I am currently dealing with on my desk.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4d81cPnLGmez1RQ_gGu8OwKNqd7tI5MMD8megxSDLR6IciXWjWNoBytoAjwJbGkIH0M-rvIZVIE-UK1XI5gI6i7L6UzOFBrEJkY7EE0F8VDfExwleepWIHlBLJ1KSwVDFN2-M2puxKgE/s1600/photo.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4d81cPnLGmez1RQ_gGu8OwKNqd7tI5MMD8megxSDLR6IciXWjWNoBytoAjwJbGkIH0M-rvIZVIE-UK1XI5gI6i7L6UzOFBrEJkY7EE0F8VDfExwleepWIHlBLJ1KSwVDFN2-M2puxKgE/s400/photo.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696780303852100818" border="0" /></a><br />For those of you who do not have beyond perfect vision, I will highlight some of my favorite "reminders"<br /><ul><li>to start, one of them simply says "<span style="font-style: italic;">Friday.</span>" Your guess is as good as mine as to what that could possibly be reminding me of. Perhaps I was supposed to do something super important on Friday that I couldn't forget, or maybe I was merely wishing it<span style="font-style: italic;"> was </span>Friday. Either way, this sticky proves useless.</li><li>Another good one is the one that reads: "<span style="font-style: italic;">Travel Idea! Do not forget..."</span> Well, thank the lord I wrote <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> down, never mind leaving myself a hint as to what this amazing travel idea might be. Again, this is another super helpful and descriptive sticky note.</li><li>there is also a sticky note with a library call number that will spit you in the middle of the Celiac Disease section of my library if someone were to actually look it up...as well as a sticky note reminding myself of a rock version of the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" song from the Nutcracker.</li></ul><br />....maybe I should think about utilizing the voice memo or reminder option in my iPhone.Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-3915477392378758422012-01-11T15:37:00.000-05:002012-01-11T15:39:25.724-05:00Ode to CVSBecause of my ungodly amount of prescription meds [thanks for that, bod] I find myself frequenting CVS far more than any normal person should. It is with that caveat that I explain, <em>CVS is my drug. <br /><br /></em>For one, the second I walk into CVS, my body releases an unusual amount of Seratonin/Dopamine/every other happy-enducing hormone that my body produces. It’s like I subconsciously know that my every want and need is going to be fulfilled before I leave the very doors I just entered. <em>CVS is like my fix.<br /></em><br />Its layout is nearly perfect for the way my brain functions. To start, the shopping baskets are placed in the most obnoxious place - I can’t walk in without tripping over them. To some might be annoying, but to others [like me who attempt to balance all their goods in one arm while trying to grab something on the bottom shelf] it is a blessing. <em>CVS reminds me of my shortcomings.<br /></em><br />Immediately, I am spit into the aisle where I actually need something, which is conveniently connected to the aisle containing the things I don’t need, per se, but probably should have, which is conveniently connected to the make-up aisle, which then syncs me up with the nail polish section, which leads me to what I call the “Aleve and Celiac” aisle, which syncs to the “as seen on tv” aisle, followed by the yummy drink and vitamin aisle, which connects me back to the pharmacy where I can get one of my 1345 prescriptions and skip the line at the front of the store, created by the woman trying to pay with all coupons and pennies. <em>Phew</em>. <br /><br />Before I tip my hat to their corporate store-planners, [bravo, corporate, bravo], I would also like to toot my own horn, as I believe that I not only have perfected the CVS shopping experience, but have also single-handedly employ most of the pharmacists on hand at any given time. This is another reason I simply adore CVS- I can get snacks and anti-anxiety meds in the same place. <em>CVS is created for [just slightly neurotic] twenty-somethings just like me. <br /></em><br />Lastly, being on the pharmacy VIP list also has its perks [no pun intended.] For one, I am on a conversational basis with all pharmacists: one of them knows my name and asks how many I am picking up, another one tells me that I haven’t changed since second grade. Secondly, I now have the CVS phone number memorized for when I get automatic refill reminders. I now avoid the call, acting like it’s a bad boyfriend, but always end up at the CVS for my weekly pick-me-up. <em>CVS knows that I forget everything if it isn’t causing me immediate anxiety.</em>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-34861620934294728982011-12-13T15:08:00.002-05:002011-12-13T15:12:05.438-05:00I Am Sorry I am Not Sorry<span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Frankly, the term “I am sorry” is the most overused word in the English language.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I am sorry, but I am most definitely an apology addict.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I am sorry I got so drunk. I am sorry I got into a better school than you. I am sorry that I am a stickler for grammar. I am sorry that you don’t have a car. I am sorry that I am taller than you. I am sorry I have such neat handwriting. I am sorry you walked into me.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">All of these things have come out of my mouth in the last 48 hours, but the one that forced me into writing a blog about it was this one:</span><br /><br /><span style=" font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I am sorry, I have Celiac.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Recently, this is a sentence that has been word vomiting from my mouth far more frequently than it should be. As if my pre-existing ordering awkwardness wasn’t already weird enough, I now need to explain to all wait staff that I have a dietary limitation. I am now that girl.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">So, when I feel like a waitress is judging me for customizing my meal, instead of leaving my [very personal, noneya business] explanation out, I always end up not only over-sharing, but also asking for forgiveness. </span><br /><br /><span style=" font-style: italic;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >I am sorry, I have Celiac.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I stop and think: what exactly am I sorry <span style="font-style: italic;">for</span>?! Well, I profusely apologize that my genetic defect, which has turned my world upside down in less than three months, is now going to inconvenience you. Now, instead of simply writing my carbon-copy order down, you now need to note that I need dressing on the side/no croutons please/ no bread on the side/ need to make sure the sauce has no gluten. Your life must be so hard.*</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">*Your life is so hard, that is, until you go to eat the free dinner you are provided in the back, and not think once about any of the ingredients in the chicken dish you are shoving into your mouth.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I am so sorry that I need your help in learning about the ingredients in the food you are about to serve to me, only doing so because I am unable to find said ingredients on your website which I most definitely scoured prior to my arriving at your restaurant. I am so sorry that if you don’t do this small custom order for me, that I will spend the next several hours doubled over in pain because it was such an inconvenience to you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Well, guess what. I am not sorry…so, I am not going to say it anymore.</span><br /></span>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-35617960160755188652011-11-16T12:19:00.007-05:002011-12-13T15:12:50.938-05:00Fool Me Once: Stop Going To Nightclubs, Fool Me Twice?<p>Lets, for a brief moment, relive the painful memory that is November 2008, when Plaxico Burress accidently shot himself in the leg.<br /><br />In avoiding the obvious questions I had as an avid, my-dad-raised-me-as-a-boy-when-it-comes-to-football fan, abridged into the following overly long question: “Um, why was Plaxico Burress packing in the first place… in a bar… the night before a big game against Washington…with other Giants players…with the gun stored in a position that could shoot himself or others…without a safety on?”<br /><br />I digress.<br /><br />I actually want to think about the public consequences that came of his poor decision, such as:<br /></p><ul><br /><li>Plaxico’s recuperation process after <em>physically</em> shooting himself in the leg </li><li>being convicted of a felony, and forced to serve time</li><li>Never being able to play football as well as he did pre-shooting self in leg</li><li>The financial burden in paying legal fees and not having the security net of a professional football play salary</li><li>Letting down an entire football team, and its corresponding fans</li><li>His forever tainted public image as the “idiot who actually shot himself in the foot.”</li><li>Crushing a certain 21 year old fan, who was relying on him to pull through as her favorite Giant when Michael Strahan retired. Ahem.</li></ul><br /><p>Not to mention the toll it took on me, <em>I mean</em> Giants Nation…as if it isn’t hard enough being Giants fans already. If I had a dollar for each moment of second-hand Plaxico embarrassment I felt, I would most likely be writing this from my private yacht somewhere in the middle of the Mediterranean. Ah, a girl can dream. Its <em>fine</em> though, I mean really who <em>doesn’t</em> like having to defend the reasoning behind their team’s wide receiver shooting themselves in the foot in the middle of the season?<br /><br /><strong>Giants Nation Moral Lesson: no more packing whilst in Manhattan nightclubs.<br /></strong><br />Fine. <em>Easy</em>. We move on…<br /><br />…or at least we had moved on until Monday night, when four members of the Giants starting line-up were caught in a fatal Manhattan night club shooting. <a href="http://espn.go.com/blog/new-york/giants/post/_/id/8449/cruz-shaken-by-fatal-shooting-at-night-club">[read the embarressing story here, thanks espn]<br /></a><br />Déjà vu, anyone?<br /><br />Luckily, no one from my beloved NYG franchise was hurt, but it sparks 3 immediate alarming thoughts for me:<br /></p><ol><br /><li>Did we not learn our lesson the first time? (see above)</li><li>Can we not find better establishments to hang out at whilst enjoying ourselves? Perhaps places where people aren’t packing might suffice.</li><li>Is it necessary to start running a nightly program where players need to check in weaponless, and can’t leave until the morning?</li></ol><br /><p>Also, Victor Cruz, who was rapidly climbing my “Favorite Giant Player” ladder has been forced to the bottom, as I don’t think I can come to avidly supporting someone who might accidently shoot himself in the leg…again.</p>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-13180384971817451972011-11-14T16:52:00.002-05:002011-11-14T16:57:33.867-05:00[Insert Quote from the Procrastinator A La Nickelodean's 'All That']So recently, while at a church council meeting [yes, I was asked to join church council…that’s another story in and of itself…] we began talking about the validity of blogs.<br /><br />Evidently, in order to stay up-to-date [which we know I am currently nowhere near], I need to blog every two to three days.<br /><br /><strong><em>Panic.<br /></em></strong><br />Remember when I used to be such a good little blogger because <em>ohmygodmyreadersneedsomethingtoreadanditismydutyasaselfproclaimedbloggertopost</em>?<br /><br />Ah yes, the good ole days of having a functioning computer at home, and not having the sleep-inducing side effects of diagnosing Celiac Disease (which by the way I officially now have…)<br /><br />In the middle of my church meeting, I then had a sudden urge to blog…not just blog, but meaningfully and passionately blog…<br /><br />…it was an urge that clearly passed, as by the end of the meeting, I had no doubt completely forgotten about blogging and moved onto more important, in-the-moment issues, such as why I had such a deeply rooted headache in the core of my brain.<br /><br />I almost completely forgot about one little justslightlyneurotic.blogspot.com, until <em>again</em> today JSN was brought up in a conversation.<br /><br />I again wee-womped at the fact that I have been badly neglecting JSN. I started to feel guilty...<br /><br />...then after deciding that my website definitely does not have feelings, I realized, more importantly, that I will now need to rely on my unreliable memory to remember what I did throughout the 2011 year, as opposed to being able to flip through my electronically captured inner monologue. Sigh.<br /><br />So here I am, writing an apology note to the vast space of the world wide web, JSN.blogspot, and well, myself and promise to do a better job of keeping my life somehow logged.<br /><br />Did I really just write a blog excusing my lack of blogging? <strong>Yup.<br /></strong>Do I promise to start blogging more, despite my life with a touch of completelycrazy? <strong>Yup.<br /></strong>Think I can procrastinate doing so until tomorrow, when I honest will write about something other than my lack-o-bloggin’? <strong>Yup!</strong>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-30592603060120543642011-09-28T15:54:00.002-04:002011-09-28T15:58:51.044-04:00Camp Anawanna?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> 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mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Apologies for my lack of blogging lately, but don’t be looking for any blogging next week either.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Why?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Because I will be camping [for the first time <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">ever</i>].</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">No need to adjust the brightness on your monitor, I did just say camping.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">What started out as a joke between friends has quickly escalated to a very real reality.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I will be one with nature beginning on Monday. Sound the alarms.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Surprisingly, I am actually very excited to partake in my first camping trip.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>For one, I will be going in toe with 6 of my closet friends, copious amounts of alcohol and scrabble.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All of which amount to a wonderful time separately, never mind when they are combined together.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Secondly, I have been [if only just slightly] neurotically checking the weather forecast, and it seems as though things look relatively dry*</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Much to my worry, I have gotten mixed reviews re: my upcoming camping trip. Statistics based on initial reactions are shared below:</p> <ul><li><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"></span>50% agree that I will enjoy camping…and maybe even love it</li><li><span style="mso-tab-count:1"></span>30% think that camping is the most wretched activity ever to be invented by man</li><li><span style="mso-tab-count:1"></span>18% politely expressed that everyone has that “one camping story” and that they can’t wait to hear mine</li><li><span style="mso-tab-count:1"></span>2% immediately warned me not to trust anyone if they said they would bring a sleeping bag for me to borrow.</li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">These reactions worried me for many reasons, the most glaring reason being that I am, in fact, relying on someone to bring me a sleeping bag.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Do you not think I will be a fun camper?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Do I seem like a high maintence person?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Why don’t you think I will like camping? [Insert neurotic questioning rant here.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I decided that, instead of allowing others to decide whether or not I would be a good camper, I would myself decide if I could hack it in the wilderness of New Hampshire during October.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Here enter my Pro/Con Camping List:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">These are the reasons why I will be a fantastic fall camper.</p> <ol><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span>I am excited!<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Generally, positive attitude = positive experience.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I think [I am going to have fun], therefore I am [going to have fun].<span style=""><span style=""></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""></span></span></span>I can do cold weather. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I don’t just “do” cold weather, I excel in cold weather.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Cold builds character, and I have lots of character. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Let’s take this opportunity to remember my collegiate years in the arctic, where yours truly joined a sorority where it was tradition to all sleep in one room with the windows open all year round.<span style=""><span style=""><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""></span></span></span>I like nature…as in I like gazing at stars, sitting around camp fires, and hanging outside with friends…I think.<span style=""><span style=""><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""></span></span></span>I can sleep anywhere, provided it isn’t extremely uncomfortable, light or hot, and that I can fall asleep on my stomach.<span style=""><span style=""><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""></span></span></span>I am excited to turn off my cell phone…can you hear me now? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Nope.</i></li><li>I am very educated on what to do if something goes wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I have seen pretty much <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">every </i>episode of “Man vs Wild”, as well as “Man, Woman, Wild.” I feel confident on my abilities to thrive under pressure in an emergency. I think of my continuing outdoor education and my epipen in a similar manner: I learn to use it with the hopes of never having to.<span style=""><span style=""><span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""></span></span></span>I love the people I’m going with. Good company = good time.</li></ol> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">These are the reasons why I might not be a fantastic camper.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"></span></span><br /></p><ol><li>The closest experience I have ever had to camping would be day drinking at the Hunt.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The Hunt, for those of you who don’t know, is a horse race in Jersey where the waspy 20-somethings of New England pretend to be outdoorsy by standing in a muddy field in preparation for a fox hunt.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is also an opportunity for wasps to wear their Barbour jacket, Hunter boots, and Rayban sunglasses just to say as to say “I’m loaded, waspy, but can be bro outdoors.” I wish I could pretend that I wasn’t absolutely dying for a Barbour jacket, but I completely am. I digress.</li><li>Nature…as in existing with it for an extended period of time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I wouldn’t be concerned if we were taking a short camping trip, however, me being me agreed to go on a six day camping excursion, having never gone before…not my brightest idea.<span style=""><span style=""></span></span></li><li><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span>Bugs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I don’t do well with bugs, spiders, snakes, or anything else I have seen on the Discovery Channel.</li><li>Hi, I have Celiac.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No one wants to go camping with someone who has a food problem.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"></span></span></li><li>Hi, I have an epipen.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>No one wants to go camping with someone who could die because of said food problem.</li><li>I am no good at hiking, but I think I am saved with the group I am going with, as the word “exercise” is often perceived as a bad word.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri;mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin"><span style="mso-list:Ignore"></span></span></li><li>I have a very vibrant imagination and am extremely paranoid.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This cannot be a good combination in the middle of the woods with a bunch of pranksters.</li></ol> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> Stay tuned for my camping experiences, and that one token camp story that is bound to be born.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Signed, Woman of the Wilderness<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span></p>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-32756511827968244772011-09-12T14:45:00.003-04:002011-09-12T14:51:02.979-04:00Hi, My Name Is "Gluten Girl"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:version>12.00</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> 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Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]-->Problem: Extreme fatigue.<br />Origin: Undiagnosed Celiac Disease.<br />Solution: No more gluten!<br /><br />New problem: Extreme fatigue.<br />Origin: The decision process in deciding whether I can eat something or not.<br />Solution: To Be Determined. <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">There are four words that now almost constantly monopolize my brain:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-weight: bold;">“Can I eat this?!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">As if I didn’t already [over]analyze the nutritional value for all food I allowed into my digestive system, I now have to break down each ingredient within something I want to eat in order to ensure that it is gluten free.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">It is exhausting.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">It sounds relatively simple.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>[Stop eating wheat products, dummy!] When in reality is isn’t.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Gluten is in everything.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I am slowly learning that it is a complete waste of energy for me to even look in any menu sections besides those clearly labeled “Salad” and “Entrée”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Of course, my obvious “I want what I can’t have” mind set [also known as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">beingawomanitis</i>] immediately sends me into a carb craving frenzy. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Instead of looking at all the things I can have, I stare into the realm of gluten possibilities, and need to turn on my will power with every single meal I eat.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Sigh.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I understand that my being a dummy and looking in the sandwich section sets me up for exhaustion, but what I am also learning is that I need to breakdown even the “safe” sections of the menu.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I am talking to you, <span style="font-style: italic;">soup and salads</span>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Here I am, already having made the “good” choice in committing to the non-blatantly gluten sections of the menu, but now I also need to breakdown the boring stuff.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">In a nutshell [which I also can’t currently eat do to the pine nut problem]:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p>Salads?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Does it have croutons?</span><br />If yes, remove from options.<br />If no, continue on.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Does it have fun flavoring?</span><br />If yes, remove from options.<br />If no, continue on.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Is there even an iota of a chance that the dressing will contain trace amounts of gluten?</span><br />If yes, remove from options.<br />If no, continue on.<br /><br />The ending order? “Oh hi, I’ll have the garden salad with plain grilled chicken, no croutons, and oil and vinegar on the side thanks. Does that come with bread? None for me thanks.”<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Stop having so much fun, dinner order.</span><br /><br />Soup?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Are there noodles in it?</span><br />If yes, remove from options.<br />If no, continue on.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Is it thick?</span><br />If yes, remove from options.<br />If no, continue on.<br /><br />The ending order? “I’ll have a cup of your…chicken broth?”<br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;tab-stops: 105.3pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;tab-stops: 105.3pt">I kid of course, but really dissecting each ingredient in every meal I eat really is exhausting…but not nearly as exhausting as I am when I have gluten products in my bellah.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;tab-stops: 105.3pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;tab-stops: 105.3pt">Stay tuned, this will definitely get easier with time, and think about all the money I will save avoiding meals out!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-9613211834610562332011-08-23T14:43:00.003-04:002011-08-23T14:52:37.237-04:00And Then We Had An EarthquakeHere I am blogging about hurricanes while earthquakes are disrupting the entire East Coast.
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<br />Scroll down to see the devestating damage in Boston during the earthquake that tore through the Northeast just moments ago...
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEfu315XyQ5ID0ulplV-mmO9hBsoqWi4iFvE6VFX2GxRs91FsQT7R0vX87d_z0XR1ym4VOHFHGZDgk3l5QbcDj6Rlii5kEPr4iZdqZu6lC0Liwh6eoC4mdY1aF1L9FjkHHlvEVZRvgmZk/s1600/media_httpFamousDCcom_aEwdF_jpg_scaled500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 258px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEfu315XyQ5ID0ulplV-mmO9hBsoqWi4iFvE6VFX2GxRs91FsQT7R0vX87d_z0XR1ym4VOHFHGZDgk3l5QbcDj6Rlii5kEPr4iZdqZu6lC0Liwh6eoC4mdY1aF1L9FjkHHlvEVZRvgmZk/s400/media_httpFamousDCcom_aEwdF_jpg_scaled500.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5644124622290278530" border="0" /></a>
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<br />Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-35246483339802792032011-08-23T11:00:00.001-04:002011-08-23T11:01:50.462-04:00Miss Irene [Meep!]<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> 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mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Hurricane Irene has been monopolizing my brain for the past 48 hours.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">For those of you who don’t know, I have an <s>abnormal</s> natural curiosity for natural disasters, especially if they affect my beloved Massachusetts and/or my weekend plans.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">This leads to Irene.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Bostonian meteorologists always predict that the storm is going to affect us in some way, no matter the path of the hurricane, nor’easter, tornado or volcano. Storm a’brewing in the Gulf?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">There is always a chance it could hit us. </i>I mean, if the jet stream carries it up around Canada, this could mean big problems for Massachusetts.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Right, because that is going to happen. </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">This year, the suspense is building even further, as New England is<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"> apparently </i>due for a large storm this hurricane season. Why tell that to anxious weather-watchers like me?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Because now we are hooked, and we look to the weathermen as the beacon of light to lead us through the big storm. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Literally.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is times like this where I completely forget about how I dislike meteorologists for always being wrong. Suddenly, they can do no wrong in my eyes [at least until the storm completely misses us, and David Brown has caused me monsoon anxiety for no reason whatsoever.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Back to Irene.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Because meteorologists are always constantly adjusting the radar, it means they are constantly reporting to drooling weather geeks like me, which in turn means I begin to spew useless information about Irene to anyone who will listen to me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Sometimes I wish I stopped for just a second and asked: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">“Self, does anyone else really care that Irene is most likely going to become a category 3 storm by evening? Or that maximum winds have hit over 100 mph? “</i><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If I did, I would be able to answer both questions appropriately: no and no.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I would also be able to avoid all of those awkward looks I get from coworkers when they casually bring up Irene, and I am able to, not only talk about it in an overly-educated manner, but borderline attack them for not knowing that 600,000 Puerto Ricans are without power today because of the storm last night.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The real origin of my hurricane anxiety sprouts from this:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Irene stands to join New England during two of the most important weekends of my summer; one being Di’s birthday/Countryfest, and the other being Labor Day. I have taken it upon myself to create a detailed itinerary so that we can all co-exist together in harmony [if it is possible to harmoniously exist with a hurricane.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Di’s birthday comes on Saturday, and as any good daughter should, I will be celebrating her birth by drinking copious amounts of [gluten free] alcohol while wearing a cowboy hat and scheming as to how I can convince Kenny Chesney to notice/marry me at Countryfest. [Sorry Mommy! I love you!] Unfortunately, Irene didn’t purchase a ticket to Countryfest, and its a sold out show.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This means one thing and one thing only: Irene is not welcome to crash Gillette Stadium on Saturday, so I am hoping she can plan accordingly [especially after what happened to Sugarland at the Indy State Fair.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">She is, however, allowed to move in anytime after 2AM on Sunday morning.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>She then has a fairly open window to do as she pleases [within reason] until Thursday, when she will need to vacate the greater Boston area.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Thursday leaves a bit of leeway for Friday, when I will need Irene to be completely gone while I celebrate the great holiday of Labor Day on the beaches of Martha’s Vineyard until Monday.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I feel that I am being extremely generous in allotting Irene a five day slot for her picking. Lets hope she is polite enough to follow suit and come when she is invited.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">As if my actual storm anxiety isn’t high enough, Irene was also <s><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>the origin of my body dimorphic problem </s><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>my high school pointe teacher, so every time the weatherman says the name Irene, I fight the urge to listen for her subtly disparaging comments about my weight and/or wait for a swift whack at my butt if my extension wasn’t to her liking.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Hasn’t happened yet, but we still have some prime prep time before Irene graces us with her “presence.”</p> 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mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I genuinely love watching sports.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I am surprised that some super successful man hasn’t swept me off my feet and claimed me on that characteristic <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">alone</i>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">There is nothing more I love than cuddling up on a Sunday and watching football all day long [bonus points if the New York Football Giants are televised.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">In reality, this little afternoon never happens, but in my head it is wonderful and it also includes calorie free snacks and chocolate.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">You know what does happen in reality on Sunday afternoons?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Golf.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I hate golf.</i> So does a majority of the female population.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Frankly, I am not sure how people consider golf a sport, but not dance.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>That, my friend, is a different issue entirely.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Anyway, here I am, snuggled up on the couch ready for an afternoon of, well really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">anything</i> besides golf, and I am clicker commando-ed by my father who just so happens to love watching golf.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Apparently</i> I was witnessing one of the “biggest golf moments of the season.” [Please contain your excitement, I know I was able to.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">My dad, completely enthralled by the whimsical sport that is golf, has gone into a typical sports-trance where he no longer acknowledges anyone in the room.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>My mom and I continue to carry on a conversation, because let’s face it, you don’t actually need to hear what is going on in order to follow the game: he either gets it in the hole, or he doesn’t. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">end.of.story.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">After coming to a natural pause in our conversation, my mom and I realized that this whole “watching golf” excerpt of our afternoon was nowhere near its conclusion, so we decided to make it interesting.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">[Insert excessive cheering/whooping/booing/ <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">No golf claps permitted, please </i>here]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I must admit, after our new rule implementation, I have to say that watching golf wasn’t even completely miserable.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Dare I say, even semi tolerable?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> 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</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]-->I have always wanted to live in a loft. <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">My <s>keen sense of interior design <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"></span></s> awareness of lofts began in 1995, when the movie “Man of the House” debuted.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I was nine, and at the height of my “Jonathan Taylor Thomas is immortal” phase, also at the height of my father’s love for Blockbuster Video.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="">Dea</i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">dly combination.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I remember standing in the aisle holding “Man of the House,” ready to rent it, only for my Dad to look at me disappointingly and mutter “againnnn?!?!?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I digress.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">At any rate, this is where my obsession with lofts began…Look at the home of Sandy and Ben Archer.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCupw2sou9glxk0r6pUkhAkfnBt2LSjjlnl7LiojBWSsIFb3HovCUajd_7thgroHA3N2BFUAVfHS_GCO0piU0hfP3BizXSGIHS7u4TWEQJoR0wih7IOE5BSeUmLiZzWZxp7nbRFZCAV0/s1600/8-12-2011+10-05-58+AM.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 263px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCupw2sou9glxk0r6pUkhAkfnBt2LSjjlnl7LiojBWSsIFb3HovCUajd_7thgroHA3N2BFUAVfHS_GCO0piU0hfP3BizXSGIHS7u4TWEQJoR0wih7IOE5BSeUmLiZzWZxp7nbRFZCAV0/s400/8-12-2011+10-05-58+AM.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639981750287700306" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Look at the lighting [keep in mind this is an evening snapshot], the high ceilings, the staircase, the open kitchen [not shown here].<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>All of these were things I knew I wanted in my future home.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I imagined, at the ripe age of 9, that when I was a successful 20-something [which was ohmygodsoold] I would live in an ultra-mod, high ceiling, perfectly accessorized loft apartment such as this one.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Oh, the girl had big dreams.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Now, as that [slightly poorer, and definitely not as mod] 20-something, I still want to live in that loft…or any loft for that matter.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Sometimes, I peruse the Craiglist ads, just to see what kind of rustic, yet roomy lofts are available.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>More often than not, I find none that meet my unrealistic expectations [based on cost and amenities].</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">It is then that I realize that I will never find a loft to the likes of the Archer family, but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop trying…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Feel free to find it for me. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Also, you can blame my obsession with collages on “Man of the House” and their beach collage seen below.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3_n8zytkXM_4A9vdjdfX-Qi8-ZOF4YBkuQU76-HjToqHxaTEq2KauOOAo8WR7Lo56go7X46zfnSMmIxt_OgEft6e4xGFcjp7SzdmVXvMO0QQDgoWjVGhMJ_eaGI794SOwuY4eiBdkE-A/s1600/8-12-2011+9-57-33+AM.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3_n8zytkXM_4A9vdjdfX-Qi8-ZOF4YBkuQU76-HjToqHxaTEq2KauOOAo8WR7Lo56go7X46zfnSMmIxt_OgEft6e4xGFcjp7SzdmVXvMO0QQDgoWjVGhMJ_eaGI794SOwuY4eiBdkE-A/s400/8-12-2011+9-57-33+AM.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5639981564859742962" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-10009019461173701852011-08-11T14:03:00.002-04:002011-08-11T14:04:38.274-04:00THIS IS A COMPLEX CARB RANT<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> 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style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">My life is currently an episode of “True Life: I have a food allergy or am an extreme hypochondriac.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Its so fun.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Right now, the prime suspect for my constant exhaustion/sore and itchy throat/weird itchy spots on my skin/did I mention complete and total exhaustion? looks to be wheat and/or gluten products.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Yes, you heard me correctly; that means there is the potential for me to have a gluten allergy [and I will become <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">that</i> girl that is allergic to everything….and lets be honest here, no one likes<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> that</i> girl.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">If anyone ever tells you that a gluten-free diet is easy, they are lying. Bold face lying.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">As if I didn’t have enough food envy prior to my glu-tardness, [I am talking to you skinny girl eating the giant bacon cheeseburger with fries while I’ll have the salad withthedressingonthesidethanks] I now have it at almost every meal I eat.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Want a sandwich? Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Beer? Nope. Cereal? Nope. Crackers? Nope. How about a salad with croutons? Nope. Maybe some soup? Probably not.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">You get the idea.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></i>Life sans gluten has been challenging, but I will continue to do so because I am feeling better*.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">If you haven’t had the gluten conversation with me yet, here are some common phrases to avoid when we do have the inevitable conversation.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Are you<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"> sure</i> you have an allergy?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></b>No, [insert name of aspiring medic here], I am not certain it is a gluten allergy, hence the elimination of gluten to find out if it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">is </i>the culprit. I am fairly confident that my allergist knows what he’s doing, being that its his profession and all.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Oooohhh! You are going to lose so much weight?</b> I am on week 2.5 and have seen little to no weight loss, so this comment immediately makes me feel defeated.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I know that people mean for this to be a positive aspect to the obviously negative, but really after hearing it 35+ times, all I hear right now is “maybe this will help you lose some weight, fatty!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"> </b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">So does that mean you can’t eat, like, pasta? That sucks!</b> My reaction to that? “That’s, like, exactly what that means. Thank you for pointing out the obvious fact that my new potential way of life is, like, now going to be subpar.”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I haven’t figured that out in the past 3 weeks.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Oh, yeah I feel like that sometimes, are you sure its not just in your head?</b> I know as well as you do that I am most likely completely crazy and/or just slightly neurotic about most health related issues, and well, most life issues in general.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is one of those situations where I am completely comfortable in saying that I am not going crazy, thank you very much. It is comforting to know that you know that I have full conversations with myself [now I don’t have to hide it anymore!].</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">You just need some exercise.</b> Well, I’ll be damned. You are right! I am just too busy being a fattyfattynomnomnom to even fathom that my lack of exercise could be the route of my problems. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">You are making a big deal about nothing</b>. I was battling with how I could cry for help and/or plea for attention and I decided that the best route in doing so would be through a gluten intolerance.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Much more believable than some of my other ideas!</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p>What are some good things to say?
<br />
<br />“well, at least vodka is still on the list!”
<br />“CHOCOLATE IS GLUTEN FREE.”
<br />“my cat is allergic to gluten, let me know if you want to start a support group.”
<br />“My very single, wealthy, attractive, humorous and successful brother is also a glu-tard looking for a wife who is also a glu-tard! And he has a boat, and owns a private island”
<br />[insert something witty, but slightly self-depricating to make me feel better]
<br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Okay, rant over. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="line-height:115%;font-size:78%;" >*better meaning that I no longer think about sleeping for the entirety of my day, no longer need to force myself to stay awake until 8PM, and no longer have the sore throat that I have had since…well, 1999.</span></p> Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8092706105709933367.post-52386233212053382382011-08-03T15:13:00.003-04:002011-08-03T15:17:15.085-04:00Before You Hang Up....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> 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<w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I am now a proud member of the National Do Not Call Registry.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">…and here’s why….</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">My apartment <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">does</i> have a landline phone.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The wonderful [please note sarcasm] people of Comcast refuse to make a bundle with only cable and internet, so in order to qualify for the discounted bundle price, we pay for a landline too. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>If I pay for it, I am going to use it.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I now know why I get cable at a discounted rate because of the landline. Comcast is clearly paid off by the people who now have our home phone number for sales calls.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><u>A typical conversation goes something like this:</u></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Hello?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson:</b> Hi Ma’am, before I begin, I would like to assure you that this is no sales call…blablabla [continue until she takes a breath]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> I am not interested, but thanks for calling! Good luck!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><u>Except when it is 8AM on a Saturday, to which it then sounds like this [if I wake up to it]:</u></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Hello?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson</b>: Hi Ma’am, before I begin…”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Hi. It is 8AM on a Saturday. Take me off your calling list. [Click]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><u>Or when I get an overly aggressive salesperson from the Boston Globe, which usually sounds like this:</u></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Hello?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson:</b> Hi Ma’am, this is Michael from the Boston Globe, were interested in earning your business</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> I am not interested, but thanks for calling! Good luck!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson:</b> Before you hang up, can I tell you about our [insert name of worthless promotion targeted to my demographic] promotion we are running?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> No thanks!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson:</b> Did you know…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Look, I am a republican, and your paper not only supported the democratic candidate in the most recent election, but spoke disparagingly about the republican candidate.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"> I.am.not.interested.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Salesperson</b>: Oh well, if it is of interest to you, the Boston Globe does have an insert that is targeted to your political agenda.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Me:</b> Your paper shouldn’t need an insert to give me news in an unbiased way. Put me on your DNC list now. [Click]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Keep in mind, as a former radio ad sales rep, I have a very high tolerance and respect for cold callers.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is an awful, cruel way to earn a living. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I have never had a sales phone call that has gotten me so worked up that I have put the apartment phone number on the National DNC list…that is until they started calling my cell phone.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I don’t know what list I inadvertently put my cell number on, but within the last few months my cell phone has been ringing off the hook.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">In particularly, one phone number has gotten accustomed to calling me multiple times a day from the same number.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Thinking it may have been a coworker, I picked it up several times only to get the same pre-recorded message.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I finally had to save the number in my phone as SPAM.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Do you have any idea how annoying it is to see 3 missed calls from SPAM after a full work day? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Very annoying is putting it lightly.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">After listening to the entire pre-recorded message once to see if my number would finally be moved to the “reached” list in their database, I hoped it would go away.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It didn’t. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The final straw was when they called again.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This is when I begin to hit 0 repetitively.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>This also does nothing. I then hit every button. Still nothing.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">I decided to “remain on the line to speak to a sales associate on how I could have peace of mind with a new alarm system!” [I’d contemplate buying the alarm if it meant peace of mind from the repetitive phone calls.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Poor sales kid.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Didn’t see it coming.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Here she was, ready to sell me a top-of-the-line alarm system, and I was on the other end, ready to rip apart the first human voice I came into contact with. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The details of the conversation are a blur to me, but I do remember rambling on about how if this were an email campaign, it would be illegal for there not to be an “unsubscribe” button and it should be the same thing for a phone campaign and ADD ME TO YOUR DNC list immediately.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">By now, I’d realized that I’d become a broken record when it comes to sales calls, and so I decided to take the plunge.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">All you telemarketers out there, you can thank the 603 area code alarm company for removing my number from your lead list…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">…and if it keeps up, the apartment phone is next…</p>Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06755525548800195206noreply@blogger.com0