My day a la randoms

• I prefer to eat ice cream with a fork
• I found out that “How to Train Your Dragon” is a movie, so now I feel like a nincompoop for thinking people searched how to literally train a dragon in my Google blog
• It is a fact. I need to start wearing my glasses. Every. Day. At this rate, my squinting will prematurely cause crows feet by age 30. Stop squinting, Kristin.
• I have listened to Gaga’s “Alejandro” on repeat for the majority of my day. You should probably listen, and watch the video here. You are welcome in advance, Mary, but maybe don’t watch it at work.
• I have been to Philadelphia. This may not seem significant to you, but it seems I completely erased my weekend trip to Philly a la 7th grade from my memory. I just remembered today on my way to work of said trip. Yet another example of my early on setting Alzheimers.
• I still haven’t learned how to control my facial expressions and/or reactions.

due to popular demand,

My weekend…in randoms

I am able to entertain myself [and others] by creating elaborate, soap opera-esque, story lines based on the randos who surround me. Us girls lost 2 hours of our lives to analyzing and dissecting the group dynamics of the drunk teenagers in front of us at Earthfest. Special shout out to “Ashley” and “Dan,” our crowd favorite not-trying-too-hard-to-be-cute-but-is-soooo-cute couple.

I am currently not getting along with random pot holes at the esplanade

I am the only person in America who dislikes leather couches. I dislike having to peel myself off of a piece of furniture, thanks.

Reason for my phone battery draining at lightning speed? Why because I somehow audio recorded 3 days of my life, of course!

I ingested enough calcium this weekend to fortify a small cow

I dislike the word “mulch” because it sounds and is spelled the way it smells. Mulch.

Salad dressing that comes from a spritzer makes me happy

My day in randoms...

• no matter what context “the situation” is used in, I always route back to Jersey Shore. Shaaatttts
• Chuck Norris Jokes met my Twitter newsfeed, and they weren’t funny. Example: Chuck Norris doesn't have an iPhone App. The App Store built itself around him. This is why comedy and technology should not mix.
• I like the smell of gasoline; this probably explains everything.
• I still cannot believe that the two most popular American baby names are Jacob and Isabella. Yes, I still refuse to read the book(s).
• Why do I look like a 5 year old, dance recital ready, when I try to wear bright red lipstick, but the diva prancing around Whole Foods looks like the next Twiggy. Ugh!
• Someday I will be able to drive normally again, sans white knuckles.
• Tailgating me will only cause me to go slower. Sass and I are recovering from a major car accident, asshole!
• I voted today, and visited our 45357 year old town hall. Still smells like Republican Victory to me! (Go, Scott, Go!)
• I like nude nail polish, and I don't care if the nalasians (nail lady asians) tell me that I like "Old women colors"
• I have been mentally preparing a list of things my SLU friends need to do while they relive our glory days at graduation

Food for thought

My Friday: in random, oxymoronic, food related thoughts

1. I love chocolate…in all forms and phases. I do not, however, like chocolate ice cream…unless it is a fudgesickle.
2. I do not like coffee, nor do I like its taste or smell…unless its slowly churned into a delicious ice cream. Yes, I love coffee ice cream, preferably covered with chocolate jimmies. (To be clear, they are jimmies…not sprinkles.)
3. I love strawberries, as in I eat them everyday in season, so why is it that my least favorite type of lollipops and jams are strawberry? Because I said so.
4. I love bananas, and enjoy almost everything that is banana flavored (foul, I know), the obvious exception being banana popsicles. Those should be publicly defamed and permanently discontinued.
5. I didn’t like Chinese food or chocolate until I was twelve…same time I hit puberty and ballooned. Coincidence? Doubtful.