One of the
biggest transitions of this past year was not moving in with my boyfriend... it
was moving in with his roommates.
Evidently, I
knew nothing about the male population prior to this.
Thus, I have
compiled what I have learned in the past year so that you don’t have to learn
the hard way…like I did.
Remember, the term “clean” is a relative term and used loosely based on personal interpretation. To some, “clean” dishes may be those that have been run under water sans soap and a sponge, but to me, those dishes are called “dirty.”
2. Patience is a valuable virtue.
The shoes in
the middle of the hall will eventually be moved, but only after someone needs
to wear said shoes or someone trips over said shoes and is in enough pain to
alert the entire apartment about their stumble.
3. Selective hearing exists.
It has been
widely rumored that men don’t listen. While
at times this is accurate, don’t get caught assuming they aren’t listening when they
actually are. Side note: selective hearing isn’t one sided, so don’t be a hypocrite.
4. The importance of picking your battles and
letting things go.
Men don’t do drama like women do, but they do
observe and retain. Learn your breaking point, and understand what is and isn’t
important enough to get upset over. If
you constantly complain, you’ll lose your audience (See #3), but if you are
tactful and direct, your point will resonate.
5. Some men are clean.
Confused? Yes, I know.
It turns out that some men are actually neat freaks. There is a strategy
here: align yourself with the clean one – he will be your voice in the battle
against dirt.
6. We have way too much stuff.
Maybe it is
just because we have a shoe-box-sized closet for two people and two cats, but
it has become very apparent that we just have too much stuff. The problem? I can’t seem to figure out what we do not
need. What we do need? A large apartment
with vast amounts of storage.
7. Don’t ask questions you already know the
answers to.
It seems
simple, but avoiding this passive-aggressive tactic will save everyone the
frustrations (see #4).
8. It is completely possible to play
videogames all day long…
…and only
that. There will be a day when you leave in the morning and return in the
evening to find all male roommates exactly where you left them in front of the
television. Do yourself a favor, and don’t
ask what they did all day (see #7) and then get upset when you’ve learned they’ve
done nothing (see #4).
9. Men have feelings.
Our
apartment has been filled with immense joy, utter sadness, complete disappointment,
and total confusion over the past year. Unless you surround yourself with
uneducated, heartless men, you will know and embrace the many emotions you’ll
see from them. There is another lesson here: women can be cruel.
10. I have a very supportive boyfriend.
Moving in
together was never a formal step for us. One day, I woke up and realized that all of my
belongings were in his apartment, and I decided it was fair to start paying
rent. Every day, K continues to amaze me in how he can handle my over-sensitivity
and completely rational irrational anger without missing a beat.
BONUS. A Dishwasher: you either have a functioning one, or you are one.
A dishwasher is one of those apartment luxuries that I will never take for granted again.
