Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Just kidding, only confessions from me…a just slightly neurotic twenty-something…not nearly as dramatic, but definitely as hormonal.

1. I spend way too much time thinking about how birds get inside the mall…
2. Hi, my name is Kristin and I am a fan of Wilson Phillips. You are too, you should watch this video.
3. Apparently, every time I get up from my desk, I hum and/or sing whatever song is currently stuck in my head. Unfortunate for those who dislike Wilson Phillips, see #2.
4. I think those who don’t utilize resistance on cardio machines are wimps.
5. Sitting Indian style > sitting any other way.
6. I have double jointed hips and toes. #ballerinaproblems
7. I only buy OPI nail polish…and its because I think the color names are witty, kind of like me.
8. Apparently, I am the only person who despises cantaloupe.
9. I have to actively not pick nail polish off my fingernails.
10. There is nothing more annoying to me than someone who misspells my name.
11. Best feeling ever = newly sharpened pencil. Note: pencil can be both of the lead and make-up variety.
12. According to most bridesmaid dress measurement charts, my chest size is 3 sizes larger than the rest of my body. I keep reminding myself that some women pay to have this problem. Right.
13. I am twenty five years old, and I still say the alphabet when I bend the tab on top of a seltzer can. You do the math.
14. If I need chocolate, it seems as though any type will do…in unrelated news, did you know there is chocolate whipped cream?
15. There is often abnormally loud cracks that come from my joints. I blame 22 years of dance, my mother blames 20 years of purposeful cracking.
16. I notice when people don’t wash their hands in a public bathroom. They are lucky I don’t chase after them with hand sanitizer
17. My dresser is from the infant department of target…and now I get emails weekly about Target’s nursery furniture sales. Just because I lived in a small apartment does not make me an expectant mother, Target.
18. My afternoon snack almost always includes a glass of almond milk. Am I six?
19. If you are busy enough, no one will notice that you haven’t styled your hair or worn anything but Ugg boots to work for the past 3 weeks.
20. It is now unnatural for me to use an informal contraction in any type of writing – informal or not. What – you don’t feel like you’ve committed a crime when you use don’t instead of do not?