TGIT

ya know, just incase I hadn't noticed...

The Roof Of the Viking Franchise Is Caving In

...literally.

The roof of the Minnesota Viking’s stadium couldn’t hold the weight of the snow on Sunday, and collapsed.

This would normally be funny; however, this particular Sunday the Vikings were playing the Giants…and it was televised…in Massachusetts.

The Giants are rarely televised in Massachusetts due to their conflicting schedule with a team slightly more popular in these parts, the New England Patriots.

Sigh.

So, instead of being able to watch the Giants crush the Vikings from the comfort of my parents’ couch on Sunday afternoon, I had to spend the majority of my Monday scrambling for ways that I could somehow figure out how my father would watch the game that night, whether it be via television/radio/morse code/smoke signals.

Long story short: the Giants Vikings game was not to be televised anywhere besides the New York and Minnesota territories. Gee, shocking.

My dad’s solution? Well, sit in the car and check to see if it is on satellite radio in the brand new jeep, of course!

So, at 7:20 PM, my father escorts himself to his car.

At roughly 7:25 PM, I run downstairs in a complete and total panic, half expecting my dad to be passed out from carbon monoxide poisoning, in a running car, in our garage.

Luckily, I found my dad in his car, outside, not on, safe and sound.

Watching the game in slippers and a plush blanket [with warm tea in hand] became sitting in a cold car in my driveway, lights off, staring at my warm, heated house.

At least I can say my father is, if nothing else, dedicated and resourceful [and also rarely affected by cold temperatures.]

This also explains why my parents make the perfect couple. My mother entertains herself by spreading yuletide cheer throughout the house and beyond, and my father hides in the car, yelling at Eli Manning via his satellite radio.

...And Copious Amounts of Cash

What I want for Christmas:

1. new ugg boots. I have always had two pairs of Uggs in my day-to-day rotation: the ones I can wear in public, and the ones that are absolutely trashed and smell like a frat house. The problem? Currently both pairs of my Ugg boots fall into the latter category. I didn’t realize the severity of the crisis until I moved and was unable to identify which pair of boots I was allowed to wear into the open while sober…
2. New purse. When it rains, my bag no longer protects my belongings from the elements. I am also getting sick of people judging me while I pick at the interior of my bag when I am bored.
3. My white shelves to hang themselves on my bedroom wall. Please use a level when hanging yourselves up.
4. My bank account balance to double its amount…okay it might as well triple…
5. that cute lil Marc Jacobs clutch I have been eying…you know, the one that can hold all of my multiple personalities, my cell phone, and my camera all at one time…and zip.
6. First Lieutenant William Ripley Houpt to return home quickly and safely from Afghanistan. I miss and love you more and more each day. Even in your absence, you still inspire me.
7. The scale to read 22 pounds lighter than it did this morning.
8. Really long, incredibly blonde hair
9. A tan that never fades…
10. A golden lab puppy, with a house big enough for her and a person who will clean/walk/pick up poop/feed/train/do everything besides cuddle with it.

Ready, set, SHOP!

Shaq-ing Up?

My mother dedicated much time to a plan re: inviting Shaquille O’Neil to the Christmas Eve service at our hometown church.

Why? Because she thinks Shaq would appreciate a quality worship service with an intimate crowd and an emphasis on music.

Since Shaq moved into Sudbury, my mother has convinced herself that Shaq’s sole reason for moving here was because of our church, and hasn’t come yet simply because he hasn’t gotten the invitation. She had planned to be the one to invite him and include him in our very exclusive, but very warm, religious celebration.

Last night, my mother told us that Shaq would not be joining us on Christmas Eve. I immediately assumed that my mother had bumped into Shaq at our local grocery store, cornered him and scared him into not coming to our church, but for once Diane picked a normal option, and instead researched the Celtics game schedule.

Unfortunately, the Celtics have an away game on Christmas Eve, therefore completely eliminating the possibility of having Shaq join us in our celebration of the birth of Jesus.

She continued by saying that she did some follow up research so that she could invite him to another Sunday worship service, perhaps during advent.

My mother has now memorized the entire Celtics schedule, most games, much to her dismay, are on Sundays.

I have yet to break the news to her that Shaq will never be coming to our church for any type of Christian celebration…

Why? Because Shaq is Muslim.

Guess that didn’t surface in my mother’s research…

(I still love you anyway Mom, and maybe with your killer personality he will come just because you invited him!)

Rangers Lead The Way

You should thank a soldier today because:

• they fight so you don’t have to
• they cant kiss their loved ones every day like you can
• they’ve written a blank check made payable to The 'United States of America', for an amount of 'up to and including my life.'
• Freedom isn’t free
• They are someone’s daughter or son, husband or wife, friend, mentor, confidant, teddy bear
• They sweat a lot and they sleep a little
• They are survivor
• Their families miss them and pray for their safe return everyday
• They are protecting your children/parents/best friends
• There is someone at home who’s world would be shattered if they didn’t come home
• You are able to read this…in English
  
  You should thank a soldier because you can.
  
  So thank a soldier today….and if you can, thank their mom, dad, sister, brother, dog, friend, and significant other, too. They are the backbone to every one of them.
  
  The world will say goodbye to a great young man tomorrow, and far too early at that.
  
  Scotty, you are a hero to all of us. You are my hero. May you rest in peace.

Tis the Season to Gain Weight.....

Fa La La La La, La La La La!

In a normal day, I exercise caution when making choices at meals, and I opt for the healthier option when given the choice…most of the time.

Beginning around Thanksgiving, the word “no” seems to become a swear word in my vocabulary. Where usually I would be able to say “oh no thank you, one donut is enough for me,” or “no thanks, I think I have had too much to drink,” the words “oh, sure I’ll have another, I mean it is Christmas” somehow manage to leak from my mouth. Without fail.

I mean, tis the season to overindulge, right?

Ugh.

At any rate, this is when I am thankful for the regular routine in my nine to fiver (well, eight to four thirty-er) to keep me from holiday snacking/lunching/gingerbread latte-ing/ “oh, its okay, it’s the holiday season”-ing all day long. There is just simply not enough time for snacking when I am working, plus I find that, under usual circumstances, I have very good self control whilst in the office. [Not to mention my weird complex about whether coworkers monitor how often/how long/for what reason I leave my desk.]

I pack my own snacks so that I steer away from the demons that live in the Cheez-it, Swedish Fish, Gummy Bear, Peanut M&M, Veggie Stick snack buckets that live in our kitchen throughout the year, so that when I do have that occasionally Apple tart with vanilla/cinnamon/nutmeg/other yummy spices/ drizzle atop it, I don’t feel completely and utterly worthless. Sigh.

But then it happens….

The holiday gift baskets start to magically appear in the focal point of my office. The kitchen.

Then I loose all sight of normal caloric intake.

It is only December 7th and we have already had the following delicacies grace us with their appearance in December:

• Homemade Christmas Cookies
• Store bought Christmas Cookies
• Blueberry cake a la a co-workers aunt
• An oversized Caramel/chocolate/peanut butter covered candy apple
• donuts, bagels, and hot cider…twice
• chocolate covered molasses chips
• a marble Boston coffee cake
• a pumpkin/cinnamon roll/thing

Well, here’s to getting back on the bandwagon January 2, 2011? [I mean we all know it is impossible to be good while also being incredibly hungover…]

TGIT

Here is our 2010 Christmas tree.

Luckily, one of my roomates is just as anal/anxious/psychotic about the Christmas season as I am.

What does that mean? Our christmas tree doubles as a light fixture...

Notice the illuminating glow surrounding the tree. That is the glow of our electric bill doubling for the month of December. Worth every penny.

To Quote "Christmas Vacation:"

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?

Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.